Thoughts
The floor was cold with morning chill, sending a shiver through my bare toes all the way up to my ears. Slowly I pushed off the stiff sheets and stood. My head felt heavy on top of my body, weighted with confusion and regret. They’ve told me I can’t blame myself for not seeing it sooner, most people could never figure it out themselves, but I can’t help thinking about how irrational it all seems now. How could I actually think that as businessmen rush to work, coffee in tow, they’d have the time to point out my ratted mousey hair, or that mothers struggling to manage the babies propped on their hips even noticed how my stomach protrudes over my jeans. I shake the thoughts out of my head and rub my temples softly as I walk out of the door into the sterile halls. I know the path like the back of my hand, left, right after room 218, down the hall and straight through the doors to the cafeteria. I grabbed my tray by the entrance and claimed my usual seat by the trash cans. I stared at my cold eggs, chewed my peanut butter toast, and felt stupid for having to be here in the first place. After a few minutes I rose from my plastic chair, cleared off my plastic tray, and placed my plastic utensils in the …show more content…
I had been trying to figure out what was going on for three days. The whole place was empty besides my bed, the kitchen, and a small pile of clothes. Darkness swallowed the place into the late hours of the night. It was a small and quiet existence, but it’s the only one I knew. I tossed the journal somewhere on the floor. My hands combed the hair tie out of my hair as I took a deep breath of the frosty air. I felt defeated and answerless as I sank into my bed, finding consolation from the late autumn chill. I pulled the gray sheets so they covered every inch of me. My breathing had slowed and I was about to slip away when I heard
The floor was cold with morning chill, sending a shiver through my bare toes all the way up to my ears. Slowly I pushed off the stiff sheets and stood. My head felt heavy on top of my body, weighted with confusion and regret. They’ve told me I can’t blame myself for not seeing it sooner, most people could never figure it out themselves, but I can’t help thinking about how irrational it all seems now. How could I actually think that as businessmen rush to work, coffee in tow, they’d have the time to point out my ratted mousey hair, or that mothers struggling to manage the babies propped on their hips even noticed how my stomach protrudes over my jeans. I shake the thoughts out of my head and rub my temples softly as I walk out of the door into the sterile halls. I know the path like the back of my hand, left, right after room 218, down the hall and straight through the doors to the cafeteria. I grabbed my tray by the entrance and claimed my usual seat by the trash cans. I stared at my cold eggs, chewed my peanut butter toast, and felt stupid for having to be here in the first place. After a few minutes I rose from my plastic chair, cleared off my plastic tray, and placed my plastic utensils in the …show more content…
I had been trying to figure out what was going on for three days. The whole place was empty besides my bed, the kitchen, and a small pile of clothes. Darkness swallowed the place into the late hours of the night. It was a small and quiet existence, but it’s the only one I knew. I tossed the journal somewhere on the floor. My hands combed the hair tie out of my hair as I took a deep breath of the frosty air. I felt defeated and answerless as I sank into my bed, finding consolation from the late autumn chill. I pulled the gray sheets so they covered every inch of me. My breathing had slowed and I was about to slip away when I heard