Hi Lourdes, I really like your thesis statement It tells all your main points and what you want the rest of your essay to be about. I also like when u said “making the reader an important addition to the story.” It makes the reader wanting to read more to find out what you have to say. One thing I would change is the length of the thesis. If you can make it a little shorter but still have all your points there it would be better. Also the start of your thesis was a bit hard to understand but other than that it was good.
