1. Is there a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph?
-Yes. At the end of the first paragraph, the thesis sentence has three points that the writer is going to explain in the next paragraphs.
2. Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis? -Each paragraphs handle different topics that the writer mentions in the thesis statement. So, the three body paragraphs support the thesis statement.
Comment: While reading this essay, I was able to easily understand this essay as a reader because this essay has clear thesis which includes three points for supporting the writer’s opinion. Also, each paragraphs support each topics that are in the thesis sentence. However, I think the first body paragraph needs a clear main topic …show more content…
For example, the writer may add examples of improved internet shopping by the surveillance.
Comment: Overall, this essay includes several evidences like saying of experts. I think the evidences helped me to read and understand the specific details of the main idea. However, I think this essay needs more evidences to give more information of how the surveillance or heat mapping positively impact on the markets and customers.
1. Is there a clear method of organization? (List of items or a time order?)
Each paragraphs are separated according to three points of main idea. The writer mixed properly views of agreement and views of disagreement with the surveillance. So, I was able to understand the agreed opinions even though I disagree with the using surveillance in retail shops.
2.Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas?
This essay includes several signs such as “However and In addition,” for informing following content.
Comment: The essay has clear organization of paragraphs. Each paragraph are about each three points with more detailed evidences. Because each paragraph begins with opposite view and transit to opinion the writer, I was able to look the issue in both sides. I think her organization in each paragraphs are helpful to
-Yes. At the end of the first paragraph, the thesis sentence has three points that the writer is going to explain in the next paragraphs.
2. Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis? -Each paragraphs handle different topics that the writer mentions in the thesis statement. So, the three body paragraphs support the thesis statement.
Comment: While reading this essay, I was able to easily understand this essay as a reader because this essay has clear thesis which includes three points for supporting the writer’s opinion. Also, each paragraphs support each topics that are in the thesis sentence. However, I think the first body paragraph needs a clear main topic …show more content…
For example, the writer may add examples of improved internet shopping by the surveillance.
Comment: Overall, this essay includes several evidences like saying of experts. I think the evidences helped me to read and understand the specific details of the main idea. However, I think this essay needs more evidences to give more information of how the surveillance or heat mapping positively impact on the markets and customers.
1. Is there a clear method of organization? (List of items or a time order?)
Each paragraphs are separated according to three points of main idea. The writer mixed properly views of agreement and views of disagreement with the surveillance. So, I was able to understand the agreed opinions even though I disagree with the using surveillance in retail shops.
2.Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas?
This essay includes several signs such as “However and In addition,” for informing following content.
Comment: The essay has clear organization of paragraphs. Each paragraph are about each three points with more detailed evidences. Because each paragraph begins with opposite view and transit to opinion the writer, I was able to look the issue in both sides. I think her organization in each paragraphs are helpful to