The 's The Way It Goes For Days Essay

1515 Words Nov 18th, 2015 null Page
And that’s the way it goes for days. Us making out. Kissing but never fully connecting and moving forward. Beau has got my head all kinds of screwed up. He never comes straight home from work, leaving me to care for Bubba way up into late night. Every single time I think we’re getting somewhere, Beau pushes me away. The last and final evening that I stay in his home I walk out onto the porch to catch him burying something in his pocket before I can see what it is. I don’t say anything. His secrets and riddles are getting old.

Beau hits a blunt and inhales, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

“You’re smoking weed?” I asks. It’s the last straw, the final undoing of my faith in him ever changing. I mean, shouldn’t he want to change for his son?

He leans forward, elbows planted on my knees. “It’s none of your damn business.” He rakes a hand through his hair. The night sky is black and void of stars. The air stagnate with all the unsaid. I focus my eyes on the sky, feeling as if that blackness could swallow me up and then I could finally disappear for good. I feel so alone and lost right now, afraid to take a step, fearing it may be the wrong one.

Crossing my arms over my chest the chill of the night, I ask, “Can I sit with you?”

“Can I not have one second to be alone in my own fucking house,” Beau snaps, taking another long hit from the blunt. “I said I want to be alone,” he snarls. “Can’t I get any privacy? I’m not your damn project.”

I tense. Hurt. “You know what I just…

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