Over the past few weeks I realized I have become exhausted. I became angry with myself for my lack of time management and perseverance. I quickly realized I was just doing enough to get by. At the beginning of the year I was so enthusiastic and so ready to see what God had in store for me. A few weeks and reports later I was ready to leave. I became overwhelmed and stressed out. As I was cramming to finish “One Way Love,” I again became frustrated. I had all this time yet I still waited till the last second to finish reading and write this paper. It was towards the end, however, that God began to break and rearrange me. I had allowed legalism to once again cloud my mind. I am going to a leadership college, surrounded by leaders, and through
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Once again I had allowed myself to cover up what was going on in the inside. I was exhausted and as far as I was concerned might have made the wrong decision by coming here. When I allowed doubt to creep in those who were not supportive of my decision to move here came out of the woodworks to remind me of how wrong I was. I even received random phone calls from people excited to tell me that God was probably going to have me drop out and move back home. Sadly I listened to their words, and I began trying to work even harder. I had to prove them wrong. However, that mindset was only able to keep me going for a limited amount of time. All I was doing was working like a mule with no results. The last few chapters reminded me that even with all of my effort I alone can do nothing. No matter how big my smile is when I serve if my heart is not in the right place it means nothing. My perspective began to change. I am at James River because God called me. I would not be here if I was not called. I do not have to work to prove myself to people. I am not here for people, I am here to grow, be stretched, and advance the kingdom of God.
Through everything I have gone through these past few months God has been right there by my side. Not once has He left me. Because of His grace and love he has guided me through all of it even when I have fallen short. Constantly He tugs at my heart and reminds me why I am here. “One Way Love,” could not have been read at a better time. I am not who I was, I have not arrived, but God is not finished with me yet. I am a child of the one true
Once again I had allowed myself to cover up what was going on in the inside. I was exhausted and as far as I was concerned might have made the wrong decision by coming here. When I allowed doubt to creep in those who were not supportive of my decision to move here came out of the woodworks to remind me of how wrong I was. I even received random phone calls from people excited to tell me that God was probably going to have me drop out and move back home. Sadly I listened to their words, and I began trying to work even harder. I had to prove them wrong. However, that mindset was only able to keep me going for a limited amount of time. All I was doing was working like a mule with no results. The last few chapters reminded me that even with all of my effort I alone can do nothing. No matter how big my smile is when I serve if my heart is not in the right place it means nothing. My perspective began to change. I am at James River because God called me. I would not be here if I was not called. I do not have to work to prove myself to people. I am not here for people, I am here to grow, be stretched, and advance the kingdom of God.
Through everything I have gone through these past few months God has been right there by my side. Not once has He left me. Because of His grace and love he has guided me through all of it even when I have fallen short. Constantly He tugs at my heart and reminds me why I am here. “One Way Love,” could not have been read at a better time. I am not who I was, I have not arrived, but God is not finished with me yet. I am a child of the one true