Five minutes is all it takes for Dr. John Gottmann to predict whether a couple will divorce. In five minutes, by watching and listening to the couple as they interact as naturally as possible within his Love Lab, Dr. Gottmann can determine the future of their marriage with 91 percent accuracy. His determination to prevent marriages from breaking up is the most rewarding aspect of his studies and the basic theme of his book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” His theme is the root out of which the book’s overall concepts, the 7 basic principles for making marriage work, blossom. Dr. Gottmann has concluded that emotional intelligence in marriage, as well as strengthening the friendship at the heart of marriage, are the keys to
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Some myths of marriage that are whispered from generation to generation are, “personality problems will ruin a marriage”, “common interests keep people together”, “avoiding conflict ruins marriages”, and “men and women are from different planets.” These myths offer false information and only imply that marriage is complex. No two marriages are the same, but Gottmann noticed throughout his studies of happily married couples that most were similar in seven specific ways. He used these common denominators to form his Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Gottmann says that following his seven principles will result in dramatic and positive …show more content…
Gottmann encourages spouses to keep a functioning fondness and admiration for each other. Couples should fan the flames of their past, recalling what they were drawn to in their spouse upon first meeting them, reliving their first dates, and meditating on the need to cherish them. Preserving a sense that the other is worthy of being treasured and authentically liked, and then choosing to treat them accordingly. Couples should encourage, and build up each other, singing each other’s praises. Gottmann believes that as long as marriages keep this principle, the marriage can be saved. At one time or another, couples will be annoyed with one another’s personality and bad habits; yet couples who desire a healthy marriage need to believe in and treat their spouse with the honor and respect that
Some myths of marriage that are whispered from generation to generation are, “personality problems will ruin a marriage”, “common interests keep people together”, “avoiding conflict ruins marriages”, and “men and women are from different planets.” These myths offer false information and only imply that marriage is complex. No two marriages are the same, but Gottmann noticed throughout his studies of happily married couples that most were similar in seven specific ways. He used these common denominators to form his Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Gottmann says that following his seven principles will result in dramatic and positive …show more content…
Gottmann encourages spouses to keep a functioning fondness and admiration for each other. Couples should fan the flames of their past, recalling what they were drawn to in their spouse upon first meeting them, reliving their first dates, and meditating on the need to cherish them. Preserving a sense that the other is worthy of being treasured and authentically liked, and then choosing to treat them accordingly. Couples should encourage, and build up each other, singing each other’s praises. Gottmann believes that as long as marriages keep this principle, the marriage can be saved. At one time or another, couples will be annoyed with one another’s personality and bad habits; yet couples who desire a healthy marriage need to believe in and treat their spouse with the honor and respect that