The relationship pattern of conflict is a relationship where the partners almost always disagree and credit all the blame and negative anxiety experienced in the relationship to their partner. I feel that Gilberts sums it up perfectly by describing conflict as two people who are locked in a pattern of emotional ping-pong (Gilbert, 1992, pg.45). Due to the conflict, more emotional anxiety is created. This anxiety often affects and impacts other relationships in the partner’s lives. In essence conflict is a way of handling relationship anxiety, which in many cases the anxiety experienced doesn’t even come from the relationship (Gilbert, 1992). This can lead to the partners isolating themselves from others which can be extremely unhealthy
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There have been many instances and are still many instances in my family where we encounter conflict. One great example of this is a recent disagreement I had with my brother. During my sophomore year of college my twin brother Carlos and I got into a minor disagreement that led to a major argument. We had disagreed on whether or not we should sale our first car that we shared growing up. This disagreement led to many more small arguments that began to add up and take its toll not only on us, but on the rest of the family. I began to blame many of the issues and anxieties in my life to my brother. It isn’t until now that I can see much of the anxiety experienced in that moment had nothing to do with our relationship but more with the outside stressors in our lives. That small disagreement took place towards the end of the semester which was a very stressful and hectic time for the both of us. We had accredited the anxiety we were feeling to the conflict we were experiencing with each other. It wasn’t until the end of the semester when things had finally calm down did we began to examine ourselves and see the fault we played in the argument. Now knowin more about the relationship pattern of conflict, I will be able to recognize it and hopefully improve future issues regarding …show more content…
When my older brother Jose moved away for college, he decided that he no longer wanted to associate himself with the catholic religion. My mom was extremely hurt with this decision; they would spend hours arguing over the matter. It eventually got to the point where they completely cutoff each other. This was felt throughout the whole family system. The rest of us could see the damage it was doing to not only our family but to them personally. The cutoff occurred for about 2 months. Now that I look back on the situation I can see that there were many outside factors that were adding to the anxiety within their relationship. My mom had just lost her aunt and my brother had just ended a relationship with a girl he had been with for 2 years. They were both trying to handle a great deal of anxiety in and out of their relationship and it eventually became too much for them to handle. When they were able to recognize the pattern and see the anxiety that caused the pattern they were better able to deal and cope with the anxiety and eventually repair their relationship. I hope now being better educated I can help repair relationships dealing with
There have been many instances and are still many instances in my family where we encounter conflict. One great example of this is a recent disagreement I had with my brother. During my sophomore year of college my twin brother Carlos and I got into a minor disagreement that led to a major argument. We had disagreed on whether or not we should sale our first car that we shared growing up. This disagreement led to many more small arguments that began to add up and take its toll not only on us, but on the rest of the family. I began to blame many of the issues and anxieties in my life to my brother. It isn’t until now that I can see much of the anxiety experienced in that moment had nothing to do with our relationship but more with the outside stressors in our lives. That small disagreement took place towards the end of the semester which was a very stressful and hectic time for the both of us. We had accredited the anxiety we were feeling to the conflict we were experiencing with each other. It wasn’t until the end of the semester when things had finally calm down did we began to examine ourselves and see the fault we played in the argument. Now knowin more about the relationship pattern of conflict, I will be able to recognize it and hopefully improve future issues regarding …show more content…
When my older brother Jose moved away for college, he decided that he no longer wanted to associate himself with the catholic religion. My mom was extremely hurt with this decision; they would spend hours arguing over the matter. It eventually got to the point where they completely cutoff each other. This was felt throughout the whole family system. The rest of us could see the damage it was doing to not only our family but to them personally. The cutoff occurred for about 2 months. Now that I look back on the situation I can see that there were many outside factors that were adding to the anxiety within their relationship. My mom had just lost her aunt and my brother had just ended a relationship with a girl he had been with for 2 years. They were both trying to handle a great deal of anxiety in and out of their relationship and it eventually became too much for them to handle. When they were able to recognize the pattern and see the anxiety that caused the pattern they were better able to deal and cope with the anxiety and eventually repair their relationship. I hope now being better educated I can help repair relationships dealing with