The Real Life Story Of The Tuskegee Syphilis Experiments
The era, culture, and setting are authentic. The dialect of the time also sounds authentic. The tone is consistently dramatic.
While certainly the story deserves to be told, the script would benefit from more development. The concerns about the current presentation are the structure and the lack of a consistent …show more content…
Without a central character, there’s no real goal for them to achieve and no solid direction for the plot. The stakes for a central character need to be more defined.
In addition, the script presents with too many characters. This hinders the opportunity to fully develop the core characters. The structure jumps around from one character to another and their individual stories are never fully formed.
There are a few solutions and choices to make. Consider streamlining the story to tell a more specific period of time vs. spanning so many years. For example, perhaps tell Buxtun’s story of being a whistleblower. Show how he learns about the cover-up or conspiracy, how he struggles for them to do the right thing and how he struggles about being a whistleblower. Focus on his story working with Jean Heller.
Or the story could focus on the lawsuit that was filed by the attorney, who brought the case to the court. One could envision one of the elderly men approaching the attorney to take their case, but the attorney would be initially resistant to it, however, they would then agree to take the case when they learn about the immorality of the experiments and the …show more content…
These films feature a strong protagonist with the goal of finding justice and the tension nicely escalates throughout the script.
The other option is to tell Rivers’ story, but to make this work more effectively, the story needs to be told from her point of view and she needs to drive the plot.
The story would need to focus more on her personal struggle. Right now, she’s active in the first and second act, but her role weakens in the third act, with the exception of her testimony. However, the story doesn’t focus on her as a character that undergoes a true character transformation.
There’s a romantic subplot, but this isn’t currently well foreshadowed or set up. When Davis exclaims how much he has been thinking of Rivers (page 57) it feels a bit jarring. The relationship, or chemistry, between the Rivers and Davis isn’t strong enough. The tension in the relationship is not fully explored. For example, the White Woman who sees them together and reports them is a generic