As the LA “pride” weekend is approaching, I thought it would be a great opportunity to expose myself in the situation. Though I created one contingency for this experiential project, and it was to think of myself as someone who belongs to this LGBTQ population rather than thinking of myself as a supporter for these individuals. Even though I created my own contingency, the thoughts that I am not visiting Los Angeles just to have fun but rather to show my pride of whom I am (supposed to be) made my heart heavy. Perhaps, part of the reason for which I had a difficult time may be due to the false identification, as which I simply imagined to present myself. As a consequence, I have not gone through the processes depicted in the Cass Model. However,
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I became overly concerned, however, about whom would be video recording the event or taking pictures, and a thought of “what if I run into a live TV broadcasting” crossed my mind. I noticed that I was bizarrely fearful and became awfully vigilant. Basically, anything that potentially discloses the sexual identity of my own that is hypothetically different from the norm was threatening to me. Instantly, I thought to myself, “Is this what is like to have sexual identity other than heterosexual?” The feelings and thoughts that I experienced during this moment were exceptionally heavy, distressed, overwhelmed, and …show more content…
It must be confusing and bewildering just to come to the slightest realization that your sexual identity is different from what is socially expected and accepted, but to understand and allow yourself to live a life that is largely oppressed and mostly compromised must be extremely arduous. I know for certain that going through my puberty and finding the first feeling of liking someone was not as hard as a single moment in the experience of an LGBTQ individual. I somehow knew that the feeling I experienced was normal and natural, and thus I felt very safe going through the process of developing my sexual identity, of course thinking retrospectively. These LGBTQ individuals have to go through a series of struggles within themselves just to see if they can even tolerate this commonly unvalued
I became overly concerned, however, about whom would be video recording the event or taking pictures, and a thought of “what if I run into a live TV broadcasting” crossed my mind. I noticed that I was bizarrely fearful and became awfully vigilant. Basically, anything that potentially discloses the sexual identity of my own that is hypothetically different from the norm was threatening to me. Instantly, I thought to myself, “Is this what is like to have sexual identity other than heterosexual?” The feelings and thoughts that I experienced during this moment were exceptionally heavy, distressed, overwhelmed, and …show more content…
It must be confusing and bewildering just to come to the slightest realization that your sexual identity is different from what is socially expected and accepted, but to understand and allow yourself to live a life that is largely oppressed and mostly compromised must be extremely arduous. I know for certain that going through my puberty and finding the first feeling of liking someone was not as hard as a single moment in the experience of an LGBTQ individual. I somehow knew that the feeling I experienced was normal and natural, and thus I felt very safe going through the process of developing my sexual identity, of course thinking retrospectively. These LGBTQ individuals have to go through a series of struggles within themselves just to see if they can even tolerate this commonly unvalued