This short centers on the plight of the homeless and their struggle to survive both physically and emotionally. It provides an insider’s look and a social commentary on the plight of the homeless. They are not just battling the elements, but they are struggling with each other. The story is driven by the theme of survival.
The idea that the story takes place during the holidays and during inclement weather provides for a concerning ambiance and raises the stakes.
There are definite strengths and weaknesses to the presentation. First, the strengths are the characters. Each character feels unique and distinctive. They each have their own voice. It’s easy to care about the characters’ situation of being homeless.
The identified protagonist …show more content…
The script opens at the cemetery. One assumes that the death of “Lisa” and the injury to Donna is connected to the lawsuit, but it’s never well clarified. It’s just left dangling and it would benefit the script to understand exactly what happened. It seems like whatever happened is the true inciting event that has changed these characters lives, but the audience is left in the dark.
It’s also not really clear in the first place why this homeless group is allowed to live in the station. The relationship between some of the characters isn’t well understood either. For example, how Ben and Donna know Tommy isn’t understood or how they know Joel and Mary is clarified.
Some mystery is fine, but too much mystery and underdeveloped storylines result in a story that doesn’t feel emotionally satisfying. This is exactly what happens in this script. Without more understanding of what emotionally drives these characters and what their goal is, the story feels as if it has no defined direction.
The audience doesn’t know what to root for. The stakes seem to be their shelter, but the emotional stakes are what’s really at …show more content…
His motivation seems to be to take the leadership role from Ben. He wants to be in charge. He’s presented as a bit one-dimensional (all bad), although there’s a sense of loneliness to his personality, as conveyed by the visual of him alone at the hotel staring outside. Again, however, it’s unclear what his backstory is and how’s he related.
Mary wants to run away with Ben, but then she blames him at the end, making her personality contradictory. She has a drug history and seems conflicted over her past. She seems to struggle with her choices and is vulnerable. However, one isn’t sure why she’s so angry with Ben. This makes her unlikable. Her dialogue sounds a bit melodramatic when she tells him that he’s a menace. It’s difficult to fully grasp her actions (unless she’s high).
Joel and Donna are the least developed. Joel has some insightful dialogue when he confronts Ben about not being able to care for himself, nevertheless everyone else. He’s educated and one assumes he was a professor or had some solid college degree. He seems protective of his daughter, which makes him
The idea that the story takes place during the holidays and during inclement weather provides for a concerning ambiance and raises the stakes.
There are definite strengths and weaknesses to the presentation. First, the strengths are the characters. Each character feels unique and distinctive. They each have their own voice. It’s easy to care about the characters’ situation of being homeless.
The identified protagonist …show more content…
The script opens at the cemetery. One assumes that the death of “Lisa” and the injury to Donna is connected to the lawsuit, but it’s never well clarified. It’s just left dangling and it would benefit the script to understand exactly what happened. It seems like whatever happened is the true inciting event that has changed these characters lives, but the audience is left in the dark.
It’s also not really clear in the first place why this homeless group is allowed to live in the station. The relationship between some of the characters isn’t well understood either. For example, how Ben and Donna know Tommy isn’t understood or how they know Joel and Mary is clarified.
Some mystery is fine, but too much mystery and underdeveloped storylines result in a story that doesn’t feel emotionally satisfying. This is exactly what happens in this script. Without more understanding of what emotionally drives these characters and what their goal is, the story feels as if it has no defined direction.
The audience doesn’t know what to root for. The stakes seem to be their shelter, but the emotional stakes are what’s really at …show more content…
His motivation seems to be to take the leadership role from Ben. He wants to be in charge. He’s presented as a bit one-dimensional (all bad), although there’s a sense of loneliness to his personality, as conveyed by the visual of him alone at the hotel staring outside. Again, however, it’s unclear what his backstory is and how’s he related.
Mary wants to run away with Ben, but then she blames him at the end, making her personality contradictory. She has a drug history and seems conflicted over her past. She seems to struggle with her choices and is vulnerable. However, one isn’t sure why she’s so angry with Ben. This makes her unlikable. Her dialogue sounds a bit melodramatic when she tells him that he’s a menace. It’s difficult to fully grasp her actions (unless she’s high).
Joel and Donna are the least developed. Joel has some insightful dialogue when he confronts Ben about not being able to care for himself, nevertheless everyone else. He’s educated and one assumes he was a professor or had some solid college degree. He seems protective of his daughter, which makes him