Essay On Family's Destructive Communication

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It is safe to assume that styles of communication have an effect on who we are and what we become. Every one of us have innate patterns of communicating with others that govern how we operate on a daily basis. These patterns are often exaggerated and more influential when dealing with those we are closest with. For most people this means that our family systems are greatly impacted by how we interact with others. These interactions can take the form of both verbal and nonverbal communication. In her book, The New People Making, Virginia Satir describes four styles of destructive communication that most individuals use to function in interactions. During her practice she identified the styles of the blamer, placater, computer, and distractor. One final style that Satir describes as the best method of communication is the type described as leveling (Satir, V. 1988). The purpose of this paper is to identify which of the styles of communication are being used in my own personal family of procreation and which member utilizes which style.
In order to understand the patterns of
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In the past I have always worked but I was able to quit working last April and stay home. The pattern of communication that I use the most often is blamer. I felt the need to structure our family with explicit rules when we first married in 2009. Everyone needed to be “one the same page,” and I used this confrontational style to accomplish my goal. I first learned this style from my mother and it was further reinforced in my first marriage. Being confrontational was the only way I felt I could be heard and I used it more frequently from that time on. Over the last two years I have relaxed to a certain extent in both my auditory tone and physical posture. As our home has settled down and our family has adjusted to all of the changes, I no longer feel the need to be so dictator like towards the others in our

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