The moral question asked on p. 11 of Alexander George’s What Should I Do? comes from the point of view of a mistress who is having an affair with her married co-worker. She states, “I am having an affair with a married man who is my co-worker. I did not begin the affair; he pursued me. His wife does not know. I feel guilty about it, but at this point I am in love with him. He says that he loves me, but that he also loves his wife, because – although she is abusive and he feels no attraction to her – she was there for him when he was very ill two years ago. Are my actions unethical? If she doesn’t know and I am truly in love with him, is it okay? Are his actions more unethical than mine?”
Philosopher, Thomas Pegger, responded by first pointing out that her co-worker’s wife highly values their relationship. The fact that she does not know about the affair or his feeling towards her, prevents her from seeking a relationship that is truly as valuable as she thinks it is. “The deception deprives her of this opportunity” (p. 12, George) of seeking other relationships that are important to her. Pegger also puts the mistress in the shoes of the wife and is curious to know how the mistress’ feelings would be towards …show more content…
It would consider the implications that affair would have on oneself and others involved. It would ask what she desires and values in a relationship and how to maintain its the integrity while it is robbing another relationship of it. Does the husband care for and maintain a valued bond with his wife or is this affair diminishing their marriage and dependence for one another? According to psychologist Carol Gilligan, the ethics of care focuses on an “ideal ethic where everyone will be treated with equal respect and that no one will be left alone to hurt” (p. 35,