I think everyone has their own delusions that they enjoy being a part of, well, at least for a while. How long though can we live out these delusions, until life catches up to show us we must come to terms with our inner demons? I’ve always told others and myself that honesty is the most valuable asset anyone can have, but then I live out my lie. There have been countless times I’ve put up this front of might, just to know deep down inside, it 's all a play to hide something from the rest of the world. It can be comical in a way to look back at all the energy wasted: running from myself. Everyone to a certain extent is afraid of not being accepted, and putting those feelings in words seems to be impossible. But, as a Hemming said, “All you
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It 's sad to admit, but everything that she was, satisfied my false sense of identity. In agreement with Theroux, “I have always disliked being a man”(229) because men aren’t supposed to be gay. Just as others do, I had to conform to the social norms and hide my true identity in fear of ridicule. So I did manly things, such as sports, drinking, talk about joining the military, and fall in love with a girl who embodied everything society sees as feminine. She was smart, an artist, beautiful, confident, sweet and that’s what guys were supposed to like. We were never together, and she wasn’t the only girl I “liked”, but I always saw her as being the one. Always the one who would complete me in a way in which society could agree …show more content…
I was trying to think of the right words to say to her, to explain my whole situation, to explain how what I am, is not what she sees. To tell her about all nights I’ve stayed up crying feeling so alone, about how many late night drives I’ve driven too fast just to feel again, that’s what I wanted to tell her, but that’s not what came out. We all think we have a plan until the moment actually comes along and hits us square in the face. All that I was, seemed to be tested at this very moment and I had the choice to keep lying, or finally face up to my inner demon. My spirit seemed to almost leave me as I said: “I’m
It 's sad to admit, but everything that she was, satisfied my false sense of identity. In agreement with Theroux, “I have always disliked being a man”(229) because men aren’t supposed to be gay. Just as others do, I had to conform to the social norms and hide my true identity in fear of ridicule. So I did manly things, such as sports, drinking, talk about joining the military, and fall in love with a girl who embodied everything society sees as feminine. She was smart, an artist, beautiful, confident, sweet and that’s what guys were supposed to like. We were never together, and she wasn’t the only girl I “liked”, but I always saw her as being the one. Always the one who would complete me in a way in which society could agree …show more content…
I was trying to think of the right words to say to her, to explain my whole situation, to explain how what I am, is not what she sees. To tell her about all nights I’ve stayed up crying feeling so alone, about how many late night drives I’ve driven too fast just to feel again, that’s what I wanted to tell her, but that’s not what came out. We all think we have a plan until the moment actually comes along and hits us square in the face. All that I was, seemed to be tested at this very moment and I had the choice to keep lying, or finally face up to my inner demon. My spirit seemed to almost leave me as I said: “I’m