Social Masks

I have many social masks, I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a girlfriend and a student. Although I have many social masks, I have yet to grow as an individual. I am dominated by my super-ego since I have very inferior feelings about myself. All my life I have struggled with facing my fears and letting people in. I believe this generated from how my father was when I was growing up. I grew up with a very strict father who made me feel like the world was a very dangerous place, I couldn’t do anything by myself and he never let me truly discover the world independently which led me with residues of basic anxiety. Consequently, I began to fear the world and think of it as a very dangerous place. I still to this day experience fear within the …show more content…
Having said that, I saw myself as worthless and unworthy of love, happiness and success because they made me feel like that wasn’t an option for me, therefore, I started to focus on my ideal self, which was what I thought people wanted me to be. Till this day, I still struggle with my idea self not only because of the issues I struggled with while I was bullied but also how my family perceives me and the expectations I have to reach from my cultural super-ego. While struggling with the “tyranny of the shoulds” I began to act in different ways which weren 't my true self, I despised the way I looked, the way I talked, I felt dumb even though my grades proved otherwise, I felt that no one truly understood me. I began to act in ways that were against my personal values and feelings and what I believed in. I truly stopped caring and tried to please others instead of pleasing myself. It is something I still struggle with today. I struggle with my ideal and despised real self in order to compensate the negative feelings I have about myself to be able to fulfil the high standards that were established for …show more content…
I thought it was gonna be easy. I thought I knew what my issues were, I thought it was gonna be effortless to lay them out and face them. I was wrong. This essay allowed me to truly face what I was terrified to face all these years ago. Through the pain and the tears of bringing back all of these memories and issues, I 've built up the courage to write this essay and it has brought me so much clarity and has truly enlightened me. It has shown me that it’s okay to go through some issues. It’s okay to hurt and to have anxiety and moment of depression. It has taught me that I shouldn’t sell myself short. This was an opportunity of a lifetime and has allowed me to learn what I am really capable of and how I can face the future in so many ways without fear or insecurities. This experience has made my love for psychology grow so much more. And now, I truly believe that I am in this program for the right reasons. I’ve learnt all the ways to cope with the issues in my life and for that being said I will forever remember this class and how much changed it has brought to my