If the narrator could come to believe her own stories, why can’t I? I experience a lot of depersonalization when I am writing. These episodes never bothered me, I always assumed they were part of the process. When I realized that many of my friends didn’t experience this, it scared me a little bit, but I still wasn’t bothered by it. Until reading the narrator lose herself into dissociation and researching it, I did not realize that depersonalization was the proper term to describe what I felt while I was writing.
Dissociation and depersonalization are two different things, but they do fall into the same category. I do not believe I will ever go as far as the narrator did, but it is a haunting reminder that sometimes I do get too involved in my own stories. It is not that I think my stories are real, it is that sometimes they are better than what is happening in real life. I tend to care more about my writing than I do my family, friends, or other work. It has occurred to me that this is not exactly healthy, but I never had to confront it until reading The Yellow Wallpaper. I had always assumed it was