A Mother's Death Of My Mother

Improved Essays
“I think I can; I think I can; I think I can.”
She had me say it over and over until I knew that I couldn’t. Mommie Dearest, she was sometimes, because as she always said to me, “sometimes she was good, and sometimes she was bad and sometimes she was just very very very horrid.” That was the little girl with a curl right in the middle of her forehead… Me, that was me.

So my life could be about early childhood neglect, abuse or whatever the 1950’s labelled angry stay at home moms and their Betty Crocker aprons powdered with cookies for the father who was mentally absentee due to “slight autism.”

But, no. I hate talking about abuse and further hate hearing about it, but it was where I came
…show more content…
Mother seemed aggravated at me a lot. I moved away from home into an institution at 16 years of age. The doctor said it was to keep me away from my mother. It was a blessing. I never returned home except for a few times many years later. Mother and I began to heal mentally somehow. She never talked to me about all the whys and be-causes nor made any apologize; however, on her death bed she made a confession to our neighbor who told me a little of what she said after she died. But, I will never know what was going on in her heart. I suspect she just didn’t was a third child. Abortions weren’t legal in 1952.

It doesn’t matter now. I think she and I have mended our ways. din’t ask me how, as it’s supernatural and magical but we have.

I have grown up! I have two wonderful older children and a grandchild. I’ve worked as a registered nurse for 19 years and have specialized in psychiatric nursing since 2002.
Writing poetry and short stories are my escapes presently I have five critters and live by myself. The ghosts of my childhood make married life difficult now, so I choose my quiet time now. Remembering disassociation is a positive for writing. The unseen world is loud and clear if and when I need to call on it for assistance in writing a story.

Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to share with you some of my childhood, as this is difficult to write about. It is written using as much light hearted humor as I can without distracting from the traumatic integrity the story that I honestly

Related Documents

  • Superior Essays

    The speaker of “Child Beater” is most likely a mother whom abuses her child. There are a few lines throughout the poem that infer the speaker is a mother that abuses her daughter, not a father. The best example can be found in lines 7-8; which state, “Her body, somehow fat, though I feed her only once a day, / reminds me of my own just after she was born” (7-8). In order for the daughter to remind the speaker of his or her body after birth, then the speaker must be the mother of the child. This line can also infer that the mother of the child is suffering from postpartum depression, because she is still thinking about what her body looked like after giving birth to her daughter.…

    • 1452 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Superior Essays
  • Improved Essays

    In reality, there is no fixing crazy, but you can be like me and find a way to “rid” of your crazy step monster. First and foremost you need a huge amount of patents. I recommend sitting in a room filled with crying babies, a handful of three-year-olds, people scratching their nails on a chalk board and, an old couple who can 't hear, but insist on talking. An example as to why you would need this skill is when your step mom says, “hey does anyone ever tell…

    • 786 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Why Mothers Kill Analysis

    • 1149 Words
    • 5 Pages

    Vanessa avoided the health care system the first time because she hit her child and broke her arm. Then resetting it herself, she was reported to Child Protection Services and her baby was taken away. Regaining custody two years later her child died from an infection caused by a burn, in which Vanessa refused to take her to the doctor because she was scared to lose her daughter again (114). Agencies and organizations failed to protect these children, many of the women were investigated, but then failed to see the true risk…

    • 1149 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    My mother didn’t go through the five stages of grief. She’s stayed in a perpetual state of anger about it for the last three years. I haven’t seen her cry about Jamie since his funeral. My mom goes livid at the sound of Jamie’s name now. And if you’re stupid enough to talk about how he died...well let’s hope you have a nice place to hide.…

    • 1392 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    My Role In My Family

    • 1048 Words
    • 5 Pages

    I had to live alone and this was a good opportunity to talk with my mom about the family problem, but my mother left without telling me where she went, so I could not find her directly and I also did not want to ask anyone. I thought an intelligent way to know where she lived was that I pretended that I could not move my foot because I had suffered from this disease when I was a freshman in the middle school and the only way to treat was lying on the bed for a few days. Then I made a phone call to my mom and she came in a hurry, drove me to see the doctor and took me to her house. When I came to her room, it was not big and she lived with a teddy. She told me that the space was enough and she always wants to raise a pet dog.…

    • 1048 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Alien Abduction Analysis

    • 1365 Words
    • 5 Pages

    In “A Rose for Emily”, Faulkner wrote, “After her father’s death she went out very little; after her sweetheart went away, people hardly saw her at all”. After her father kept her from people, mostly men, she was more comfortable being alone which is why people from the town never saw her out. Unfortunately for Emily, she was unable to be freed from her isolation because the town never went to visit her in her home. In “The Telltale Hair” by Terry Heller, he wrote, “The town attempts throughout her life to treat her as we see it treating her in the first two paragraphs of the story, as if she were dead”. He shows how the town treated her as if she was never there.…

    • 1365 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Eventually we flagged her down and she didn’t even remember where she was going, she said that she felt as if she was driving without a destination. Her exact words were “I wanted to go home, but I didn’t know where home was.” Not long after this we took her to the doctor, they gave her some pills and sent her home. But as time passed, she got worse, her organs were failing and her body was retaining water. Eventually they put her in Ruffing Nursing Home, right across from where her and my grandfather lived. I never really got a chance to visit her while she was there, which I do regret greatly.…

    • 912 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    I didn’t raise you to be that way Now, I 'm going to give you some cookies for Mrs. Crandall, and you bring them to her with an apology okay?” stated Mrs. Harlow. Lizzie knew what she did was wrong. She never did disrespect anyone older than her, least of all her own parents, because it was simply not allowed. She then took some of the fresh oatmeal cookies that her mother had baked and brought them over to Mrs. Crandall’s house. The old lady was happy to see Lizzie and to hear her apology.…

    • 702 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Decent Essays

    Yet,this was my mother's house! I spoke to my mother and she told me she could not live with Mary Ann because she was afraid of her. Mary Ann's verbal abuse had gotten worse. If my mother had to stay in Rockford it was Mary Ann's choice to keep her in a nursing home. Mary Ann was not aware that a nursing home takes the patient's house once the money runs out.…

    • 524 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Improved Essays

    I didn’t grow up having sibling relationships with my siblings aside from Presley. My relationship with my dad went to shit by the 2nd or 3rd year living with him as started drinking and doing drugs in High School. In tenth grade, I called my mom and started spending time with her again. My dad kicked me out when I turned 18 and I went to live with my mom who basically used me for rent because she couldn’t afford her apartment. I remember my Aunt Regina saying to me, “You know you’re going to be stuck, right?” And I was for four years.…

    • 1535 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Improved Essays