Personal Narrative: Mental Illness

Crippling fear of the unknown accompanied by the feeling of being in a pit full of water barely able to keep my head above the water. This is how I would describe the condition that has been a part of my life since before I knew that mental illnesses weren’t limited to schizophrenia. Long before I could even imagine all the predicaments I would go through during the years that were yet to come. A feeling of utter hopelessness made way for thoughts that no nine year old child should have. As I battled through childhood, adolescence and now face adulthood still plagued by depression, the thought of abandoning all my hopes and dreams has been one of the few immutable characteristics of my life. In defiance of all adversities brought on by …show more content…
Always up to a challenge, people knew me as someone who fought for what I wanted until I achieved said thing. To this day I am still described with adjectives pertaining to this trait. My emotional health, however, deteriorated day after day as I was hounded by thoughts of suicide and took my anger out on whatever I could reach. Generally that would be my own self. No stranger to self-harm, I had been doing it since before kindergarten; I saw it become a recurring part of my daily routine. The situation escalated as I was exposed to domestic violence. Being impotent in the hands of men did nothing to assuage the feelings of worthlessness that had been growing like weeds inside me for years, but now I was also terrified at the mere thought of being around men. As if everything couldn’t get worse I would be knocked down once again after being drugged in a party where I believed I was surrounded by friends. More than ever I wanted to disappear and that voice inside my head encouraged me to do so. My wakeup call came unexpected, after I almost destroyed my future when panic attacks stopped me from attending classes. As a phoenix would, I rose from the ashes that made up my whole being and decided I would not let anything or anyone stop me from aiming to the …show more content…
They are thrilled to see what the future has in store as they prepare to enter the job market. Adulthood hasn’t been easy for me; living in a dark tunnel with no air to breathe has made each day its own victory in my eyes. My mother did always tell me that I wasn’t like most people. I give my all and always will. Depression might tell me that the problem with the world is me, it might make me feel like I have never been loved despite all the love I give, that I will never succeed at anything at all and that all people see in my is a tool to be used as they please, but it won’t stop me from trying. I refuse to be known as another rape victim who gave up on life because she couldn’t cope with the harsh realities and obstacles it presents us. I am a survivor, a warrior. I might carry this burden for the rest of my life but I will never let it become