The Importance Of Masks

I have come to bear a mask that I have been fighting all throughout high school and still haven’t managed to release myself from. I don’t know why/how? it came to happen, all I do know is that it’s here and it’s not planning on leaving. Because of it, I haven’t been myself in a long time. The moments I am myself are either when I am alone or when I am listening music. I miss being myself, this mask of insecurities and shyness drives me crazy. I used to be nicer, friendlier, and unafraid of the world; now I’m quiet, afraid, and insecure. I wish I could go back to how things were. But the truth is I can’t go back, I have to move forward and the only way to do that is to remove this retched mask once and for all. It’s going to be a long and hard …show more content…
This one time I was in the car with my two brothers and they would be talking about all sorts of things—you know bro bonding—and I would just be in the back listening I didn’t even talk the whole car ride. People might say that’s normal, you just didn’t want to interrupt them, but the truth is I didn’t even know what to discuss with them. The truth is I’ve never had a brother bonding moment; I don’t even trust my brothers with my secrets that’s how bad it has gotten over the years. At one point I stopped showing affection for anyone in my family; right now I don’t even miss them. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I belong to my family. I feel like I have nothing in common with them. After a while I even stopped communicating with my parents and showing no interest towards the world around me. Everyday my mom would come up to me and say you have changed completely, you used to love me and know you don’t even care about me and everyday I would blow it off. Sometimes my mom would even say that I didn’t love her (which honestly really hurt me), but the truth was that I was afraid to express how I felt. This mask had …show more content…
College is a time to meet new people and be extremely social but thanks to this mask I haven’t been able to be this type of person. I’m being a quiet, shy, scared and insecure. I wish this could all be easier but it isn’t. Everyday I’m fighting this mask and everyday I ask myself why? Is it even worth it? Then I slowly realized something it is but not for the reasons I thought. This essay is supposed to be about writing away your mask but for me it’s not about that, it’s about understanding it. I’m going to be honest with you and the truth is that this struggle with my mask has really opened my eyes. It has made me ask myself, is this really a mask? and the answer to this question is straight forward, I don’t know. This thing could be a mask or it can also be my fears; honestly it doesn’t really matter. The most important thing is who am I. Hopefully at the end I will finally figure out what this mask is and also figure out who am