You asked me if and how I can be sure I will never betray your trust going forward, that any curiosity in others would never supersede my commitment to you, and if it did would I tell you knowing it would spell the end for us.
You make me happy, and I know we have a great love and I think we have a good balance in us to make this relationship a backbone to our …show more content…
I only need you to explore pleasure with, and I know this for a fact, and have felt this way for a while.
I also know that I am patient, and can wait for the evolution of things. For a year and a half I was single, and didn 't date. When I think about this time, and think about our relationship, I feel blessed with timing that you would come into my life when I was ready for great love.
I was restrained during this time bc I made a commitment to myself to focus on myself, and to not get involved w anyone. I can live with patience and with commitment. I do not throw things away, or act impulsively once I put my mind to something. I have values and I 'm proud to live them, and I will not throw away what we build together. Me lying in the summer is bad, but what you 're worried about me doing is so much worse, it 's completely outside of the bounds I would ever mess …show more content…
The choice was made at one moment and then the lie at another. The two decisions were at different points in our progression. And then I was trapped in lies and felt like I had to lie again. When you asked this past weekend I could just not lie anymore. I feel way too far along. I 'm sorry for every time I lied. I don 't want to do that. I want to tell you everything and hide nothing. Besides hooking up w someone, which I will never do, I envision a relationship where truthfulness is rewarded. I know that requires so much trust, and we are far from it right now.
The most painful part of all of this is when I see the pain I 've caused you. I am also embarrassed and regretful of my actions, and want to show you I am better than that, and accompanying that is bad feeling towards myself, but that too is selfish, or from my own experience. It 's the pain I 've caused you and how it resonates in me that makes me simultaneously sense how deep my love for you