I’m honestly tired of trying so hard, i know it’s extremely obvious that i have feelings for him and everyone can tell, however my infatuation with him is strong and obsessive, i miss him, i want him, but i can’t have him. He doesn’t want me as i want him and that’s what hurts the most, seeing him every single day just living his life hurts. It incapacitates me because i’m no longer in it, It kills because when i see him smile or laugh it’s not because of me. How can someone be by your side and promises eternal friendship and then discard of you as if you never had any value. I can’t do that and that’s what rips me apart, the fact that i can’t shut him out, that every time i see him i remember everything he ever told me and remember it was
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It aggravates me that i had to feel so strongly for him, why him. I spent days thinking and racking my brain, i thought to myself why did it have to be my friend it just didn’t seem fair to be feeling like this. I had to choose between our friendship or our relationship and at first i will admit that i didn’t want one but then i got to know him and everything that made him what he was, his life, his emotions, he let me see a side of him that i didn’t know existed in a person and we connected i swear to god it felt like sparks were flying. I said it felt like, but that doesn’t mean they actually were, it was just me and the fact that i thought that it was two sided is just pathetic, i feel like a child being deprived from her favorite toy only to find out that it was never …show more content…
I hate that word i feel like every teenage girl uses it way too much, one second they are confessing their undying eternal love to one guy and a week later they have a new fuckboy and posting their picture on their instagram claiming to be together forever until death do them part. However, as a person who has never claimed to love someone romantically i can truthfully say that i love him, he was my best friend and my supporter through everything and to not have him by my side kills, but like i said i’m going to take it one day at a time, no one knows what kind of impact he had on me, i don’t think i even knew until recently and i believe that 's the beautiful thing about
It aggravates me that i had to feel so strongly for him, why him. I spent days thinking and racking my brain, i thought to myself why did it have to be my friend it just didn’t seem fair to be feeling like this. I had to choose between our friendship or our relationship and at first i will admit that i didn’t want one but then i got to know him and everything that made him what he was, his life, his emotions, he let me see a side of him that i didn’t know existed in a person and we connected i swear to god it felt like sparks were flying. I said it felt like, but that doesn’t mean they actually were, it was just me and the fact that i thought that it was two sided is just pathetic, i feel like a child being deprived from her favorite toy only to find out that it was never …show more content…
I hate that word i feel like every teenage girl uses it way too much, one second they are confessing their undying eternal love to one guy and a week later they have a new fuckboy and posting their picture on their instagram claiming to be together forever until death do them part. However, as a person who has never claimed to love someone romantically i can truthfully say that i love him, he was my best friend and my supporter through everything and to not have him by my side kills, but like i said i’m going to take it one day at a time, no one knows what kind of impact he had on me, i don’t think i even knew until recently and i believe that 's the beautiful thing about