Though out my time in HDFS 3080, I have caught myself putting the effective interpersonal skills we have learned to use. I am now more conscious about the way I talk to others, and how I formulate responses. I have learned that the effective interpersonal skills I have been taught actually do help me communicate more effectively. In this exercise, I was to choose a relationship partner and engage in a relationship assessment. I chose my boyfriend of 8 years, Hunter. Goal 1: Increase Your Level of Sharing A) When we started asking the first five questions, I felt very awkward and nervous asking such straightforward questions. I felt at ease when I told Hunter why I was proud of him and to be known as his girlfriend. I believe it was easier
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This assignment allowed me to really practice the skills I have learned in class. I felt very confident in myself, until it was my turn to talk. It took me longer than I figured to send whole messages and sometimes I ended up sending a partial message. It took me a while to organize “fact, opinion, need, feeling” in my head. I eventually got the hang of it though. Hunter responded well my whole messages and told me after the assignment that he felt like he really knew what I felt/needed/thought after I spoke. Paraphrasing came very easy to me and I felt comfortable doing it. It clarified what Hunter said, and it helped me understand how he truly felt. When negative topics would arise, I often found myself sending “you” messages without meaning to. I would quickly notice it and change back to “I” messages. I think that sending “I” messages really made Hunter feel like I was not blaming him for things. I found that sending open-ended questions was the easiest of all the skills I have learned. Asking open-ended questions required some thought, but it helped out conversation flow smoothly. There were some points during our conversation where it was hard for me to abide by the SOLER rules. I found myself getting upset and shifting in my seat, crossing my legs and fiddling with my hands when we talked about an uncomfortable subject. Even though I occasionally slipped, I was conscious about my body position and would remember SOLER and rearrange. Hunter told me that he felt I was truly listening to him and paying attention from the way I was seated and holding
This assignment allowed me to really practice the skills I have learned in class. I felt very confident in myself, until it was my turn to talk. It took me longer than I figured to send whole messages and sometimes I ended up sending a partial message. It took me a while to organize “fact, opinion, need, feeling” in my head. I eventually got the hang of it though. Hunter responded well my whole messages and told me after the assignment that he felt like he really knew what I felt/needed/thought after I spoke. Paraphrasing came very easy to me and I felt comfortable doing it. It clarified what Hunter said, and it helped me understand how he truly felt. When negative topics would arise, I often found myself sending “you” messages without meaning to. I would quickly notice it and change back to “I” messages. I think that sending “I” messages really made Hunter feel like I was not blaming him for things. I found that sending open-ended questions was the easiest of all the skills I have learned. Asking open-ended questions required some thought, but it helped out conversation flow smoothly. There were some points during our conversation where it was hard for me to abide by the SOLER rules. I found myself getting upset and shifting in my seat, crossing my legs and fiddling with my hands when we talked about an uncomfortable subject. Even though I occasionally slipped, I was conscious about my body position and would remember SOLER and rearrange. Hunter told me that he felt I was truly listening to him and paying attention from the way I was seated and holding