Forgiveness And Resentment Analysis

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My best friend and I have known each other for about 9 years and she has been there for everything in my life. So last year we got into a small fight about something I can’t even remember. Even though the argument ended with silence where we agreed to leave it behind, she was still upset. Couple of weeks later once me and my boyfriend started talking about getting engaged I wanted her to be part of everything. Unfortunately she was still mad at something in the argument and she did not want to be part of my engagement. It hurt me a lot and I swore to never talk to her. Weeks went on I was mad and in disbelief that I didn’t even bother to even ask or contact her. As couple of months went by I was not really mad any more but more sad and hurt. …show more content…
It is not like surrendering or being defeated. People can confuse it with giving in or as giving up in a situation. Like Jeffrie Murphy says in his book “Forgiveness and Resentment” how we need to be able to distringuish forgivness. He says many people often confuse forgivness with excuse, justification and mercy. He goes on to exaplain how each one is different from forgiveness. He clearly says how we should not be forgiving people by excuseing the reason we feel hurt, justifying the pain that was caused to us, or being merciful is giving less punishment when you still feel they deserve …show more content…
Rather we came to realize that holding on to the pain and emotions drags us down.I think th reason everyone needs to forgive or understand what forgivness is because we become so obsessive by negative feelings that we cannot enjoy the pleasures that are right in front of us. Forgiveness is the way we break the hatred that’s in our hearts.
One reflection in reading Picking Cotton is the way Ronald forgives much easier than Jennifer. Ronald says,” Anger would have just kept me stuck, as if I’d never left prison”.(page 225 ) Painful things happened to Ronald, some of which were accidents, some of which I think were intentional. Regardless Ronald was able to look past the pain and anger. He not only was he able to forgive Jennifer he was able to forgive every one that was involved in putting him in jail.
Another reflection on forgiveness was from Jennifer’s point of view about forgivness. Jennifer had a process which she goes through to not only ask Ronald for forgiveness but also to realize she needed to forgive Bobby Pole in order to move on. Jennifer finally realized what forgiveness means to her. She says,” People think when you forgive someone you excuse what he/she did. That’s not

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