My Divorce

Growing up, I was never really guided or encouraged to do anything with my life or to consider what my life would be like in the future. I had dreams of course, but they all seemed so unobtainable to me. I was not that child that dreamed of having a big wedding or having children. I certainly never considered that I would be forty years old with two failed marriages. Divorce was not spoken of within my own family. My parents did not model a happy, healthy marriage but it was not something that I ever recognized until after I was grown and married.
My mom often spoke about marriage as a commitment; however, I do not believe she ever demonstrated compromise or respect for my father. Their marriage failed in my opinion because of the lack of respect for one another. They always stood opposite on every issue, whether it was politics, religion, or discipline of me and my brothers. My mom is a very strong willed, independent woman and when she wanted something a particular way, she expected for things to be done in that fashion, no questions asked. I never understood why she did not understand the idea of compromise or …show more content…
Ryan and I were extremely angry with each other when we separated. Any communication that we exchanged was full of hate and anger. We both felt pure disgust and hate for one another. How could two people that were so in love, so happy and have such sweet, beautiful children go from love to pure disdain? I was angry at him giving up on our family and not seeking help for his substance abuse problem, and he was angry with me for suggesting that he had a substance abuse problem. Regardless of the issues that I experienced in this marriage, I would have never anticipated the betrayal and hurt that occurred. I was in complete shock for many weeks after I was served with divorce papers. Of all relationships that I had ever had in my life, I always believed that Ryan and I would last