On my way home, I kept wondering somehow if it was all my fault. I know it’s ridiculous and selfish to think that but I kept wondering if it happened because I wasn’t praying hard enough for her. And then I started to get angry at god. I wondered why God would take away someone so loved and leave someone like me behind. I thought that it was unfair that someone like me would still be around while all of her friends and family’s hearts were broken. I understand now that it was pretty selfish of me to think that way but at the time nothing made sense. I kept wishing there was something I could do to fix the situation so everyone would be happy again. I prayed that she would wake up and that it was all a mistake. Even though I was grieving like everyone else I tried my best to keep my feelings to myself because I felt like I had no right to be upset since I didn’t know her as well as other people did. There was a memorial for her at a synagogue near our school (I’m not sure if this is worth mentioning but the majority of my school was Jewish). There was also this tradition that her family did where they sat and talked about their fondest memories of her. I didn’t attend either because I was afraid of my emotions getting in the way of other people’s
On my way home, I kept wondering somehow if it was all my fault. I know it’s ridiculous and selfish to think that but I kept wondering if it happened because I wasn’t praying hard enough for her. And then I started to get angry at god. I wondered why God would take away someone so loved and leave someone like me behind. I thought that it was unfair that someone like me would still be around while all of her friends and family’s hearts were broken. I understand now that it was pretty selfish of me to think that way but at the time nothing made sense. I kept wishing there was something I could do to fix the situation so everyone would be happy again. I prayed that she would wake up and that it was all a mistake. Even though I was grieving like everyone else I tried my best to keep my feelings to myself because I felt like I had no right to be upset since I didn’t know her as well as other people did. There was a memorial for her at a synagogue near our school (I’m not sure if this is worth mentioning but the majority of my school was Jewish). There was also this tradition that her family did where they sat and talked about their fondest memories of her. I didn’t attend either because I was afraid of my emotions getting in the way of other people’s