Personal Narrative: When I Didn T Wait To Grow Up

Remember when you couldn’t wait to grow up? Remember when you envied the big kids? I do. I recall those thoughts as if they were yesterday… but as you get older everything starts to change drastically. Lollipops turn into cigarettes, homework goes in the trash, phones are used in class, soda becomes vodka and detention becomes suspension. Remember when getting high meant signing in the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? Dads’ shoulders were the highest place on earth, mum was your hero and your enemy’s were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest and war was just a card game. The only drug you knew was cough medicine, the most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees. When wearing a skirt didn’t make …show more content…
Cutting is not a trend, it’s an addiction. It’s like screaming but no one can hear. It is an everyday battle. You’d think that when we take a blade to our skin we’d be in a panic, crying, hyperventilating or sobbing uncontrollably, but really, when we feel our skin split in two, that’s when we feel the calmest. I used to think to myself ‘If this is how my life is going to be, I don’t want it anymore’. I didn’t always want to live my life. There was always one night that I’ll never be able to forget. It was my great-granddads 2 year remembrance. When I lost him I lost my best friend and the closest person I had to family. Although, when I was told he was gone I didn’t cry and I didn’t grieve. I never did grieve until that night. It finally hit me that I would never see him again. It all crashed down on me like a tonne of bricks. He wasn’t here anymore and he hadn’t been for a long time. I cried uncontrollably that night, feeling so incredibly numb and dizzy. I still couldn’t believe that I had really lost him. I spent 2 years denying the truth, even blaming myself for her inevitable death. I couldn’t possibly describe the emptiness inside me that I felt that night. There are no words to explain the void inside me. I never got the chance to say goodbye to my best friend and maybe that’s why I ran from the truth. I would give anything to have one more day with him to say goodbye because there were a thousand things that I didn’t tell him and I regret that. That night, when I finally knew how much I had lost, I felt horrible and I wanted to be with him so badly, that I tried to do something about it. I wanted to end everything so that I could be with him. I wanted to believe that if it ended, if it was finally over, I would see him again, and that made me