Stosny's Faulty Relationship Analysis

There is conflict in every relationship, often resulting in blame and resentment of one’s partner while avoiding taking any blame. Steven Stosny (2010) talks about how resentment of one’s partner comes from one’s own attempt to avoid failures. In essence, one believes that they are the victim and their partner is the faulty one. Steven suggests that the way to combat this emotional abuse is through self-compassion. He says that one must be sensitive to the reasons for their resentment and must be motivated to heal and improve themselves. The better we feel about ourselves, the more we are able to love others. Thus, self-compassion reduces resentment and in turn creates a more successful relationship. The purpose of this paper is to support Stosny’s (2010) advice that in order to create a healthy relationship, one must work to better one’s self and have more self-compassion. Families Across the Life Course (2013) explains some of the interaction patterns found in married couples, which also apply to most …show more content…
Without blaming the partner and by showing an honest attempt to improve one’s self, the parter is likely to recognize and work with one’s self in order to improve the relationship. In conclusion, Stosny’s (2010) advice to be more self-compassionate is supported. Families Across the Life Course gave support that conflict in relationships are often caused by people pushing the blame off themselves and onto their partners. If they were more willing to not only recognize and accept that they have issues and are still deserving of love, but also try to improve upon those issues, then they might be able to improve their relationship. Ira and Overall found that focusing on improving one’s self was beneficial in improving the relationship as well.