Aging parents can express anger and sometimes this is an emotion that the adult children had not seen in their earlier years but now presents with the fury of a caged animal. It can stop a loving family member in their tracks and brings about emotions in the family member of fear and concern.
At other times the family is dealing with someone who has been angry all their lives and it is just something they have come to terms with – but now that needs have escalated the challenge to provide support or care becomes exceedingly stressful.
If the angry parent was abusive when the adult children were younger, providing care can almost be impossible and that is when it is time to bring in the professionals for guidance and direct care. Often an in-law (your partner) can have more success than …show more content…
When this happens and there isn’t a dementia – saying something like: “Mom, you are so angry lately and that is just not you – let’s see if you might have something going on that needs treatment.” “We can make an appointment with the doctor today.” This is important because behavior signs can be a red flag to a medical issue or the beginning of a dementia.
4) You want to avoid arguments and no-winning rationalization. When the environment is calm, you just ask them how they are. What are they feeling, what are they missing and do they have any idea what would make them feel better? If they come back with shouting or with an angry statement – you can say, “That sounds to me you are unhappy.” Avoid being judgmental or saying, “See there you go again.” Cut your visit or call short when this happens.
5) Limit your time with “angry” people. You can state – “Mom if you start shouting, I will need to leave or go in the other room” – don’t tolerate being abused. You can come back and give the care that is needed but just in a little time and leave as soon as the interaction goes
At other times the family is dealing with someone who has been angry all their lives and it is just something they have come to terms with – but now that needs have escalated the challenge to provide support or care becomes exceedingly stressful.
If the angry parent was abusive when the adult children were younger, providing care can almost be impossible and that is when it is time to bring in the professionals for guidance and direct care. Often an in-law (your partner) can have more success than …show more content…
When this happens and there isn’t a dementia – saying something like: “Mom, you are so angry lately and that is just not you – let’s see if you might have something going on that needs treatment.” “We can make an appointment with the doctor today.” This is important because behavior signs can be a red flag to a medical issue or the beginning of a dementia.
4) You want to avoid arguments and no-winning rationalization. When the environment is calm, you just ask them how they are. What are they feeling, what are they missing and do they have any idea what would make them feel better? If they come back with shouting or with an angry statement – you can say, “That sounds to me you are unhappy.” Avoid being judgmental or saying, “See there you go again.” Cut your visit or call short when this happens.
5) Limit your time with “angry” people. You can state – “Mom if you start shouting, I will need to leave or go in the other room” – don’t tolerate being abused. You can come back and give the care that is needed but just in a little time and leave as soon as the interaction goes