Speech On Zombie Apocalypse

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As word spreads about the so-called “zombie apocalypse” we have set up an emergency shelter at the Federal Correctional Institute at 1101 John A Denie Rd, to provide a refuge for citizens. We have relocated all of the prisoners that were housed here to other locations and cleared out the entire prison to make room for as many refugees as possible. Seeking shelter here is recommended if you do not have a safe place to go as its heavily fortified, food and medical supplies are available, and it will keep you safe. We strive to maintain a drug free environment here at the Red Cross. The use of drugs without a prescription is prohibited in our facilities. It is unclear how serious this situation may become, and we need to prepare for the worst. The Red Cross recommends you join us at our shelter in hopes of establishing a prosperous community.

To get a handle on the current situation we took this quote from our local news radio station 99.7FM. “We are interrupting our normal broadcast to
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In these apocalyptic times supplies are never in abundance and are always in need. Bandages, clean needles, medical alcohol, and prescription drugs are needed to treat the sick. With the correct medications we could potentially manage the zombie outbreak as well as other illnesses. We won’t be able to maintain a healthy living space without the right kind of nutrient rich food, medical supplies, and clean water.

Anyone who offers to defend the prison will be treated highly and as a soldier in our community. Vehicles are a needed for supply runs and passenger transport. Specialty vehicles like busses and ambulances are always in short supply, so any help in that department is greatly appreciated. Lastly, weapons such as crossbows, shotguns, pistols, rifles, swords, and knives are always needed to arm and defend our community. A volunteer militia is needed to defend our community from zombie

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