The Guy Code: Bros Before Hos By Michael Kimmel And Girl

1697 Words 7 Pages
Margaret Mead, a leading anthropologist in the 60’s and 70’s emphasizes: “Children must be taught how to think, not what to think”. Both boys and girls are taught what is normal and what is not from a young age by their parents. Children reared with these thoughts, hold this bias into their adulthood which is seen through the characterizations of these stands from the two passages, The Guy Code: Bros Before Hos by Michael Kimmel and Girl by Jamaica Kincaid. These predispositions to what to conform to in order to be accepted is known as the guy and girl codes, with each having their own purpose, as well as a consequence. By acknowledging that these codes are not from nature but from our upbringing we will we be able to see that those who do …show more content…
However, in reality this is not the case. These gender roles inevitably cause tension amongst groups from fear of not wanting to fit in or being unable to conform. A sophomore in college, Mike describes his fear of not fitting into the group “ I’d probably pull a Columbine. I’d show them that they couldn’t get away with calling me that shit” (Kimmel 546). Mike, as well as many others, share an intense fear of being eliminated socially. These intense emotions caused by the “rules of gender” have led guys to believe that death is an option when it comes to social exclusion. This belief of death is harmful, joking or not, because mass shootings are being brought up as a redeeming quality to manliness. Kincaid depicts the constant fear of negative public attention “This is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming” (Kincaid 468). The girl’s mother warns the daughter that if clothes are not worn in a specific way, she will look perverted and inferior amongst her peers. When positivity argued, gender norms purpose is to give a solid sense of identity. However, the raw truth is that a constant fear looms of not being able to fit in. As seen, the only function for gender roles is to divide the people through their own personal struggle for …show more content…
Boys are taught and expected to not show any feelings such as sadness or compassion. Girls are taught to worry about their appearance by society in order to have them constantly focus on what others are thinking about. While guys are drilled to not have any emotion in the public eye in order for them to not respond to something in need in fear of appearing sensitive. Both genders worry about how they appear in the public eye of their peers. Interestingly enough, boys worry about how they appear on an emotional level, while girls worry how they look on a physical level. Kincaid describes how girls are taught to appear to other men: “This is how to behave in the presence of men who do not know you very well, and this way they won’t recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming” (470). The mother’s warnings in the passage depict the need for constant awareness in public as well as the idea that girls are inherently promiscuous. Mike, a twenty-year-old boy, describes how his dad instilled the guy code into his head: “He was always riding my ass, telling me I had to be tough and strong to make it in this world” (Kimmel 543) Mike learned the guy code and a bias perspective in life through his father’s teachings. In both cases, women and men learn their preconceived notions from their elders when

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