GREYLOCK presents as a very compelling, psychological dramatic-thriller. The script offers a very complex and disturbed female protagonist, who appears to be suffering from PTSD and/or a Bipolar Disorder. The script does a skillful job with showing a paranoid and troubled Jessica. There are solid themes about healing and survival.
The script is character driven and the goal is more emotional and psychological versus the idea of the protagonist trying to achieve an actionable goal. Essentially, the heroine, Jessica, is trying to come to grips with her past tour in the war and her feelings about her family. She’s trying to become emotionally healthy.
The script also offers a chilling and gritty, dark tone. There’s a constant sense of anticipation …show more content…
She’s not able to do anything and this drives her inner guilt and her obsession to go after the ones responsible. As mentioned, there’s more room to highlight her obsession about the robbery.
Parts of the storytelling feel too surreal, such as Jessica as the robber and the monster. Some interpretation and mystery is good, but too much can be unsatisfying. The concern is that the mainstream audience will want more clarity throughout the plot and at the end. A more conventional structure and approach may help.
The dead rabbit is an intriguing moment, and one gets the sense that Henry is fearful that she killed the rabbit. It might benefit the script for Henry to voice his concern that maybe Jessica was involved in the robbery. Maybe he suspects that she and Mark robbed the bank. Maybe he finds clues that point to her or Mark.
Jessica is a compelling character. She 's highly flawed, yet a skillful job is done in making the audience care about her and root for her. She has well crafted inner conflict that drives her actions. Her voice reveals information about her character. At the end, she doesn 't really have an arc, as she seems more disturbed than she did in the opening. One would like to see some hope for
The script is character driven and the goal is more emotional and psychological versus the idea of the protagonist trying to achieve an actionable goal. Essentially, the heroine, Jessica, is trying to come to grips with her past tour in the war and her feelings about her family. She’s trying to become emotionally healthy.
The script also offers a chilling and gritty, dark tone. There’s a constant sense of anticipation …show more content…
She’s not able to do anything and this drives her inner guilt and her obsession to go after the ones responsible. As mentioned, there’s more room to highlight her obsession about the robbery.
Parts of the storytelling feel too surreal, such as Jessica as the robber and the monster. Some interpretation and mystery is good, but too much can be unsatisfying. The concern is that the mainstream audience will want more clarity throughout the plot and at the end. A more conventional structure and approach may help.
The dead rabbit is an intriguing moment, and one gets the sense that Henry is fearful that she killed the rabbit. It might benefit the script for Henry to voice his concern that maybe Jessica was involved in the robbery. Maybe he suspects that she and Mark robbed the bank. Maybe he finds clues that point to her or Mark.
Jessica is a compelling character. She 's highly flawed, yet a skillful job is done in making the audience care about her and root for her. She has well crafted inner conflict that drives her actions. Her voice reveals information about her character. At the end, she doesn 't really have an arc, as she seems more disturbed than she did in the opening. One would like to see some hope for