In the dark hours between the 8th and 9th day of February 2011 my life was shattered, never to be built up in the same form again. This story is not to gain your sympathy or pity. This is simply a story about what made me who I am today.
I went to sleep that night never realizing when I woke up my life would forever be missing something. I woke up to the noise of men talking. I was scared that someone was in the house. I went to see what was going on. I saw my nana and mom crying. I saw medics come in the door. Chaos. I was told to go back to my room. I remember holding on to my dog crying. My nana finally came to get me and told me my dad had had a hard time breathing. They were rushing him to the hospital. I knew from her tears it was pretty …show more content…
I trust in God and know everything leads to a lesson to be learned. My biggest lesson thus far is never going a day without saying I love you to those you care for. I didn’t say it to my dad that night and now I’ll never get to say it and hear it back. I think that haunts me the most because my dad was not very vocal to show his love. I really wish our last conversation was overflowing with verbal love but I am pretty sure it was a disagreement. Now I say I love you to my family every night. I also say it until they say it back. I even bug other people about doing this. I remember being at a local high school game and a girl’s dad had brought her money or something. He told his daughter to give him a hug and she was embarrassed in front of her friends. “Hug him and say I love you.” I told her. She just gave me this look of annoyance. “Just do it.” I said. She went on to do what I said to. “My dad died a few years ago and I didn’t say I love you that night.” Both her and her dad wrapped me in a hug. We are not garroted tomorrow. I try to live every day like it’s my last. I don’t deny myself the pleasure of life. Yeah that What-A-Burger is not the best for me but I want …show more content…
I became even more isolated. The bullying stopped so that was a plus side. Everyone treated me better and to some length I got special treatment in school. It took me a few years to see that. For example, I made All County Chorus that year. I know I was only giving that spot out of pity. I didn’t audition nor was I a great singer. The downfall included many men that I either talked to or actually dated. I know now that psychological it was because I was looking for that feeling of love and safety from a male figure. To this day I struggle with that even with another father figure in my life. Last year on a beautiful June afternoon I was baptized in Lake Norman. After years of feeling very alone and broken from my circumstances I found hope. I can never explain to a non-believe what kind of feeling you get when you accept God as your number 1. So many good things have come from that day. I took a leap of faith and went to Montana State University last fall. Even though as a whole my experience there was not the best, I gained the community I was looking for. I met an amazing group of people that were my age group, children of God, loved and accept me as the working progress I am, and healed some wounds left by others. I know some of these people are lifelong friends and I only knew them 6 months before I left. I came home and have now realized I want to live in NC when I or my husband and I decide to put our roots somewhere. I again was
I went to sleep that night never realizing when I woke up my life would forever be missing something. I woke up to the noise of men talking. I was scared that someone was in the house. I went to see what was going on. I saw my nana and mom crying. I saw medics come in the door. Chaos. I was told to go back to my room. I remember holding on to my dog crying. My nana finally came to get me and told me my dad had had a hard time breathing. They were rushing him to the hospital. I knew from her tears it was pretty …show more content…
I trust in God and know everything leads to a lesson to be learned. My biggest lesson thus far is never going a day without saying I love you to those you care for. I didn’t say it to my dad that night and now I’ll never get to say it and hear it back. I think that haunts me the most because my dad was not very vocal to show his love. I really wish our last conversation was overflowing with verbal love but I am pretty sure it was a disagreement. Now I say I love you to my family every night. I also say it until they say it back. I even bug other people about doing this. I remember being at a local high school game and a girl’s dad had brought her money or something. He told his daughter to give him a hug and she was embarrassed in front of her friends. “Hug him and say I love you.” I told her. She just gave me this look of annoyance. “Just do it.” I said. She went on to do what I said to. “My dad died a few years ago and I didn’t say I love you that night.” Both her and her dad wrapped me in a hug. We are not garroted tomorrow. I try to live every day like it’s my last. I don’t deny myself the pleasure of life. Yeah that What-A-Burger is not the best for me but I want …show more content…
I became even more isolated. The bullying stopped so that was a plus side. Everyone treated me better and to some length I got special treatment in school. It took me a few years to see that. For example, I made All County Chorus that year. I know I was only giving that spot out of pity. I didn’t audition nor was I a great singer. The downfall included many men that I either talked to or actually dated. I know now that psychological it was because I was looking for that feeling of love and safety from a male figure. To this day I struggle with that even with another father figure in my life. Last year on a beautiful June afternoon I was baptized in Lake Norman. After years of feeling very alone and broken from my circumstances I found hope. I can never explain to a non-believe what kind of feeling you get when you accept God as your number 1. So many good things have come from that day. I took a leap of faith and went to Montana State University last fall. Even though as a whole my experience there was not the best, I gained the community I was looking for. I met an amazing group of people that were my age group, children of God, loved and accept me as the working progress I am, and healed some wounds left by others. I know some of these people are lifelong friends and I only knew them 6 months before I left. I came home and have now realized I want to live in NC when I or my husband and I decide to put our roots somewhere. I again was