Reflection On The Color Of Fear

After watching the film, The Color of Fear, I found many thoughts racing through my head. First, I was frustrated. I wished I could have been in the room with those men so I could speak my own opinion. At times, I felt that I wanted to stand up for the white man, who claimed to be color neutral. While other times, I was in ashamed to be grouped with him as a White American. Second, this film opened my eyes to the realization of racism and oppression. I had never heard racism and oppression be expressed in such a raw emotional way. I took this information home with me, which struck an interesting conversation with my boyfriend, Kyle. I began by giving him a summary of the film. I always find it helpful to explain what I learn in class out loud …show more content…
I explained how the men in the film were trying to express the struggles that colored men faced that white men never have had to think about. My boyfriend then replied with a nasty comment referencing the fact that, “they do it to themselves, if they want to be equal they have to work just as hard.” This comment hit me hard; it felt like a personal attack and I immediately began to refute his claim. Using examples from the film, I stated that we cannot put the blame on “them” it is because of the white supremacy that they do not have an equal chance. This was a perfect example of myth of meritocracy that all individuals can succeed if they work hard; when in reality this statement is false. I told him to look at the opportunities that have been presented to him that he did not even think were privileges. I also explained that a black man could be working harder than my boyfriend does everyday to make a better life, but because of his skin color and what society tells him about his skin color he will never be presented the same opportunities as my boyfriend. This concept of white privilege was invisible to him. Once I was finished speaking, my boyfriend remained silent. Though he did not say that he would change his ways of thinking, he did not argue back. In some small way I feel I got through to him. I hope to continue to have these open conversations with him throughout the …show more content…
At this point, I struggle to identify where I stand. Growing up I always thought that I was not racist, that I treated everyone equally. The more I learn the more I find that I may have been contributing to the systemic racism and was not even aware due to the fact that I am a white female. I try to be accepting, but I now see that by being colorblind, I have not recognized each person’s unique cultural make up. I look forward to broadening my horizons and learning more about the experiences and heritage that create people around me. Furthermore, I struggle with my next step. I am open to the idea of expanding my knowledge and accept the fact that in this world terrible racism exists and that people of the White Supremacy are not helping to solve the problem. On the other hand, I was not someone who was alive and owned slaves, I can never truly feel the oppression those of color feel every day, or understand what is like to be raised knowing I am the minority and will deal with that for the rest of my life, but I am here now and I am willing to help create change. I guess this leaves me with the question, what do I do next? How can I as a white female make a difference towards this cause? No, I cannot change the past, but maybe I can help be apart of the future. I just hope that being willing to accept, understand, and change is enough and if it is not that I am able to be enlightened with a path to