On March 18, 2012, an unlikely group of men gathered at 3:30 am in the Mormon town of Huntsville, Utah. They were Catholic Monks of the Order of Cicstercians of the Strict Observance (Trappists) performing a routine most of them have been doing for more than 60 years; rising in the middle of the night to attend Vigils and to pray together by chanting Psalms and doing the readings of the Divine Office. That night, an even more improbable person participated in the Liturgy of the Hours—a convinced atheist. I was that unbeliever.
I felt completely at home, as I had participated in the same routine more than 30 years earlier when I had joined the Dominican Order as a young man beginning studies for the priesthood. On this occasion, I had made …show more content…
Much of the 1800 acres where the abbey sits was leased out to local farmers. By 2011, the community had shrunk so much that they were no longer allowed to receive new vocations—they simply didn 't have the resources to take a young man through the several years of formation required to become a priest.
My sojourn at the monastery in the mountains of Utah was a milestone in an extended journey. I had long before rejected the existence of God, but that had never made me hostile to faith—indeed, it spurred my interest in all faiths that posited the existence of divine beings. I continued my studies in theology and philosophy far beyond the boundaries of the formal classrooms I had been in at St. Thomas Seminary in Denver and the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California. One person has both watched and participated as this process unfolded over so many years—Father John Patrick …show more content…
I was still seeking direction and answers to the most fundamental questions all persons ask themselves during self-reflective moments: Is there more meaning and purpose to this life than the mortal years that slip by ever more swiftly as we age? Do our accomplishments and relationships matter beyond the moment? Will all the passion and love we want to grow in and share simply be extinguished? Does our drive to learn and understand merely vanish with the last breaths we draw?
No astounding revelation overcame me during that retreat at the monastery. I had no monumental insights nor emotional conversion experiences. There was, however, a significant choice. I decided to believe in God again. Many believers might tell me, “You can 't just decide to believe, God has to call you through his grace.” If that is the case, then I was given grace without recognizing it. Atheists, on the other hand, scorn such a decision as irrational. “You 're just afraid to face life as it is and you 're looking for a way out, an escape from your own mortality. It 's a refusal to face
I felt completely at home, as I had participated in the same routine more than 30 years earlier when I had joined the Dominican Order as a young man beginning studies for the priesthood. On this occasion, I had made …show more content…
Much of the 1800 acres where the abbey sits was leased out to local farmers. By 2011, the community had shrunk so much that they were no longer allowed to receive new vocations—they simply didn 't have the resources to take a young man through the several years of formation required to become a priest.
My sojourn at the monastery in the mountains of Utah was a milestone in an extended journey. I had long before rejected the existence of God, but that had never made me hostile to faith—indeed, it spurred my interest in all faiths that posited the existence of divine beings. I continued my studies in theology and philosophy far beyond the boundaries of the formal classrooms I had been in at St. Thomas Seminary in Denver and the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California. One person has both watched and participated as this process unfolded over so many years—Father John Patrick …show more content…
I was still seeking direction and answers to the most fundamental questions all persons ask themselves during self-reflective moments: Is there more meaning and purpose to this life than the mortal years that slip by ever more swiftly as we age? Do our accomplishments and relationships matter beyond the moment? Will all the passion and love we want to grow in and share simply be extinguished? Does our drive to learn and understand merely vanish with the last breaths we draw?
No astounding revelation overcame me during that retreat at the monastery. I had no monumental insights nor emotional conversion experiences. There was, however, a significant choice. I decided to believe in God again. Many believers might tell me, “You can 't just decide to believe, God has to call you through his grace.” If that is the case, then I was given grace without recognizing it. Atheists, on the other hand, scorn such a decision as irrational. “You 're just afraid to face life as it is and you 're looking for a way out, an escape from your own mortality. It 's a refusal to face