I’ve downed several flasks of whiskey now. My mind feels clouded, disoriented and dizzy yet I keep drinking. Reckless, I am under the influence of spirit, I know it’s right for me to stop but I won’t, I can’t. Despite my hazy state, I still feel pain, I’m drowning, suffocating under the guilt, remorse and oh the pain…...
There is no escape whatsoever. What I felt before, when the lust of battle died in me, when I started cursing everyone without a second thought, is nothing, NOTHING, compared to what I feel know. It’s almost comical. What a laugh, I just killed my brother. Killed by brother just hours before and now he’s dead. Dead, gone, no longer walking on this earth. How ironic, so tragic and unexpected to point it’s funny, hilarious.
The heart stopping moments when I turned over the enemy whom …show more content…
My father, I’ve always hated saying that, or even thinking it. Those words taste bitter in my mouth. He is no longer my father, I’m ashamed of having such a foul creature to share blood with. My dear mother, sweet loving and kind. Her gentle callused hands always running through my brother and my hair, comforting us even when she was crying herself. I bitterly resented my father for treating my mother the way he did. I still wonder why my mother stayed with him. That’s a question I’ll never get the answer to.
I still dream of that day. The day everything changed. The day my father lost the control he never had and lashed out at my mother. Words too blasphemous to even think of repeating. I watched from the crack of the door with my brother as my father stabbed my precious mother with a knife, straight in her chest. Watched as her arms widen and she fell on the floor, gasping as the crimson red stain grew. Spreading on her exquisite lace white top. The man who used to be my father fled without a single thought about his 2 boys, still young and in their adolescence
There is no escape whatsoever. What I felt before, when the lust of battle died in me, when I started cursing everyone without a second thought, is nothing, NOTHING, compared to what I feel know. It’s almost comical. What a laugh, I just killed my brother. Killed by brother just hours before and now he’s dead. Dead, gone, no longer walking on this earth. How ironic, so tragic and unexpected to point it’s funny, hilarious.
The heart stopping moments when I turned over the enemy whom …show more content…
My father, I’ve always hated saying that, or even thinking it. Those words taste bitter in my mouth. He is no longer my father, I’m ashamed of having such a foul creature to share blood with. My dear mother, sweet loving and kind. Her gentle callused hands always running through my brother and my hair, comforting us even when she was crying herself. I bitterly resented my father for treating my mother the way he did. I still wonder why my mother stayed with him. That’s a question I’ll never get the answer to.
I still dream of that day. The day everything changed. The day my father lost the control he never had and lashed out at my mother. Words too blasphemous to even think of repeating. I watched from the crack of the door with my brother as my father stabbed my precious mother with a knife, straight in her chest. Watched as her arms widen and she fell on the floor, gasping as the crimson red stain grew. Spreading on her exquisite lace white top. The man who used to be my father fled without a single thought about his 2 boys, still young and in their adolescence