Vague Memories

As children we all have vague memories; some unable to distinguish from real or a dream you once had. Regardless of how much I remember or what I choose to remember, it still happened. The beginning of 1995, my parents recently married with two sons, josh about to turn 2 and Scott about to enter high school. By the end of the year my family would move back to New Mexico for the delivery of their baby girl. During my mother’s second pregnancy she was experiencing some complications. Worried, my family moved back to their hometown of Alamogordo, NM with the support of my mom’s parents and their fellowship. A month before my delivery my mom was hospitalized. She stayed hospitalized till my birth on November 18, 1995. The doctors kept an eye on …show more content…
The beginning of my childhood I remember my mother being sick and trying to understand why she was so sick. As my mother received treatment my father worked on his law degree and working to pay for his kids and medical bills. After receiving multiple chemo injections my mother’s cancer spread even more. The memory of her lying on her bed with only her legs showing. I sat next to her trying to provide any comfort I could. Ingrained in my memory were her porcelain stout legs with very distinct green veins, the silver line of fresh staples punctured down her leg as if someone was trying to torture her. Aware that doctors were trying to help her, I still didn’t understand why they used office supplies on my mother. After my mother’s conditioned worsen even more and the continuation of chemo seemed like an even worse quality of life for her; my mother decided on alternatives methods. Unaware at the time this was the point where the family started to decline and split. My grandparents kept pushing the idea of chemo, blaming my father for not pushing my mother towards more treatment. My mother becoming angry with her situation and given no control over her own life. Her illness took the best of her, and her marriage. My father up in arms gave his sick wife any wishes she needed during her transition. Angry himself, my father still knew getting a divorce …show more content…
Right before my fifth birthday my brother and I transitioned into my father’s house. About a month after settling in with my dad, we were informed that my mother wouldn’t last much longer. When it came to my mother’s condition I was never sheltered from her condition or the possible outcomes of her condition. A week before her death the three of us talked to her on the phone and said our goodbyes. I personally don’t remember my phone call with her but I have always pondered the idea of having that last conversation throughout my adolescence and as I grow older the conversation changes. On December 12, 2000 my mother went to her final resting place. I remember waking up and treating this day as any other unknown that the pain I had already endured and that family endured was about set in become our new reality. I remember sitting in the bath laughing with my brother as my dad tried to grab my feet to wash off. Kicking him away and finally trying to resist the urge to laugh; that is when the phone rang. Drying off his hands, I remember my dad in no rush to grab the phone like he knew he what lied ahead. My brother and I continued to goof around in the bath, turning around to hear my dad enter the bathroom again. I could see it in his eyes, his faced dropped no longer caring the smile he had minutes earlier. His voice calm explaining what we already knew, the outcome