The Basic Themes Of My Spiritual Journey

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The basic themes of my spiritual journey involve two words, grace and forgiveness. I did not grow up in a Christian home so it was not until a later part of my life that I truly experienced God. I had heard different things about god through school and random TV shows I watched but my view of him was that he did not care about me. The reason for that being was because my father had left my family and me when I was 4 years old to go start a family with another woman he was seeing. I tried to have a relationship with my father but it just left me broken because he had a son with the woman he was seeing and that made me feel like a failure as a son. Because of that, I had a negative view towards god and would always think “if He was real and did …show more content…
It is sad that I can probably count the number of times I have been to recess on my hands because I was always in the office for fighting. Eventually the principal made it mandatory that I see the school counselor once a week or they would get my mother involved in possibly suspend me. With many sessions with the school counselor I opened up for the first time to someone about why I was feeling all this anger and wanted to fight people all the time/. Finally, she recommended that I try football because I could hit people without getting in trouble so I did just that. So my 7th grade year of middle school I began to play football. There I met one of my best friends to this day Garrett Graf, he went to the church that I currently serve in and is still to this day a Godly peer I look up to. Garrett had a heart for inviting people to Wednesday night youth services and I just happened to be one of his targets. So for the next year during practice and while …show more content…
So after month we had sex. I thought I was a man and was on top of the world and my friends had praised me, I thought nothing could go wrong. But after football practice I was walking and waiting for my mother to pick me up when I got a call from the girl, she was pregnant. Panicked, I told my mom right when I got into the car and she was just broken and sad because she had no idea that I would ever do something like that. When both families got together it was decided for that she would get an abortion and so that following weekend we did just that. Upon arrival, there was a church protesting people not to go inside and proceed with their abortion, we walked in and signed her in and she went to the back. I sat in the lounge and continued to hear the chants of the crowd outside saying “God loves your child don’t do it” as minutes passed I started thinking about the decision that was made for me and I felt immediate guilt about what was happening, but by then it was already too late, the abortion had happened. For the next several weeks I felt nothing but shame and everything I did felt meaningless. One night I decided to go to church because I did not know where else to go to so with my new license I made my way to the building I had not stepped foot in in a whole year, all my friends were surprised to see me but they embraced me and welcomed me, it was like I

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