One example of Wallace portraying an idealized version of himself when he refuses to have his luggage carried by the Lebanese porter., he protests, “trying to be considerate, saying Don’t Fret, Not a Big Deal…” in order to demonstrate to the porter, as well as to himself, that he is unlike everybody else on the cruise, who succumbs to the Nadir’s service. In this example, despite feeling “[frazzled]” about having put the porter in a “terrible kind of sedulous-service double bind”, Wallace convincingly upholds the “persona” of a compassionate individual not in need of any help to carry his own duffel. Nevertheless, such a case occurs rarely throughout the essay, because Wallace, more often than not, fails to maintain the very “persona” he constructs for himself, thereby causing his “shadow” side to be …show more content…
To Wallace, there is something incredibly hedonistic about American tourists, with their “expensive sandals [waddling] into poverty-stricken ports”. He therefore creates a “persona” opposite to those around him, “doing everything [he] can to distance [himself]... from [this] bovine herd” by “[eschewing] cameras and sunglasses and pastel Caribbean wear”. In this case, Wallace puts on an outward appearance—a “persona”—by maintaining distance between himself and the other cruise passengers to convince others and, most importantly, himself that he is better than everybody else around him. He even distances himself from his dining-room tablemates by highlighting their minute eccentricities, judging the way they “sort of scream before they laugh”, despite “[liking] all these women… so much”. This is because any perceived resemblance to the American tourists would not only put him in a position susceptible to the same criticism he directs at them, but also threaten the “persona” that he so carefully constructs. Hence, Wallace’s alienation serves to conceal his American identity as a form of self-protection. Nevertheless, despite his efforts to uphold this “persona”, Wallace comes into contact with his “shadow” when he, just so