On November 29th, 2012 my niece Nayyira died. She was nineteen years old and was on her way back to Coatesville when she fell asleep at the wheel, crashed, got out of the car, and started started walking around the highway. Eventually she was accidentally hit by a truck.
This was the first time that someone I knew had died and it hit me very hard. I remember going to school and just sitting on the couch there, crying for hours. I didn't cry again until the day before her funeral. I come from a family of drummers and we were drumming to celebrate her life; I sat there, curled into myself, crying the hardest I had cried up to that point.
After that I fell into a deep, dark depression. I barely spoke, rarely ate, never laughed, and the oddest part for me, I refused to listen to music. It hurt too much. Everytime it played in the car, I asked for it to get turned off, it was a really scary time in …show more content…
I ran outside, let the rain wash over me, and wash my thoughts away. I sat down on the concrete, and I cried. I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I made the decision right then that I would make an effort to keep going. At the rate I was going, I was on the way to a suicide attempt. I decided that I wasn't going to put my younger sister through what I knew Sauleiha, Nayyira's younger sister, was going through. After that I continued to slowly get better, I knew I was going to make it through once I was able to listen to music again. That was the biggest sign.
It wasn't easy, in fact it was the hardest thing I ever did, but the screams of Sauleiha at Nay's funeral will haunt me forever and I will never do that to Ida. Since making that choice I have gone through more death, one that hurt more than anything else I have ever felt, but the promise I made to myself keeps me going.
So the hardest choice I've ever had to make was to stay alive, not give up, and to be there with my sister as long as
This was the first time that someone I knew had died and it hit me very hard. I remember going to school and just sitting on the couch there, crying for hours. I didn't cry again until the day before her funeral. I come from a family of drummers and we were drumming to celebrate her life; I sat there, curled into myself, crying the hardest I had cried up to that point.
After that I fell into a deep, dark depression. I barely spoke, rarely ate, never laughed, and the oddest part for me, I refused to listen to music. It hurt too much. Everytime it played in the car, I asked for it to get turned off, it was a really scary time in …show more content…
I ran outside, let the rain wash over me, and wash my thoughts away. I sat down on the concrete, and I cried. I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I made the decision right then that I would make an effort to keep going. At the rate I was going, I was on the way to a suicide attempt. I decided that I wasn't going to put my younger sister through what I knew Sauleiha, Nayyira's younger sister, was going through. After that I continued to slowly get better, I knew I was going to make it through once I was able to listen to music again. That was the biggest sign.
It wasn't easy, in fact it was the hardest thing I ever did, but the screams of Sauleiha at Nay's funeral will haunt me forever and I will never do that to Ida. Since making that choice I have gone through more death, one that hurt more than anything else I have ever felt, but the promise I made to myself keeps me going.
So the hardest choice I've ever had to make was to stay alive, not give up, and to be there with my sister as long as