Stay
Word Count: 849 Words CRWR 1202 "Stupid is all you are, and stupid is all you'll ever be."
These words float around my head for hours, days, weeks after the argument. I can't seem to remember if she actually said these words, or if I've exaggerated the fight in my mind to justify the way I'm feeling.
I had loved her, once. Our first kiss was electric: never before had I felt such a connection with another person. I gave her a part of me I can never get back, so willing at the time but so young and naïve. We were inseparable, never going anywhere without the other for close to a year. But a lot can happen within that time. Love has turned to tolerance, and tolerance to resentment.
I want to believe the girl I loved …show more content…
I knock on her door gingerly, and she smiles as she sees me enter. She greets me with a kiss, a long one, having to perch herself on her toes as I lean down to return it. A couple months ago I would have been happy to see her; I would have kissed her longer or wrapped my arms around her neck. But now I feel only a numb sense of nothing as her lips embrace mine.
"Sit down. I have something to tell you," she squeaks excitedly, green eyes sparkling. I play the part of a captive audience and urge her to continue, smiling without conviction.
Words spill forth from her mouth, filling the room and resonating throughout the four walls, but none of it registers. I hear nothing but the scathing remarks and dramatic performances she's used in abundance these past few months. When she says "scholarship", I hear her telling me to be quiet. When she says "tuition fees", I picture her …show more content…
I promise I won't." She apologizes profusely as I exit, but her words find empty ears.
I make my way out of the front door, mind running wild with thoughts. Maybe she didn't mean it; she wouldn't go back to him. Would she? I pause in the driveway, trying to shuffle my feet forward but making no progress. I know that if I don't leave now there will be more: more torture, more insults, more of everything that I've hated about her since the first time she made me feel unloved. But as she's told me on several occasions, I cannot possibly do better. Does she know that I can't bring myself to leave? Does she know that all I want is for my love to come back? That I haven't been able to give up on her yet?
My heart pounds as my feet turn back towards the house with a mind of their own. She's standing in the doorway, sobbing as though I'm the one in the wrong.
My legs move forward robotically: left, right, left, right. I don't want to return, I don't want to have to comfort her or love her or pretend anymore. I don't want to feel so alone in her company; I don't want her to call me stupid or useless or tell me to shut up.
And yet, I
Word Count: 849 Words CRWR 1202 "Stupid is all you are, and stupid is all you'll ever be."
These words float around my head for hours, days, weeks after the argument. I can't seem to remember if she actually said these words, or if I've exaggerated the fight in my mind to justify the way I'm feeling.
I had loved her, once. Our first kiss was electric: never before had I felt such a connection with another person. I gave her a part of me I can never get back, so willing at the time but so young and naïve. We were inseparable, never going anywhere without the other for close to a year. But a lot can happen within that time. Love has turned to tolerance, and tolerance to resentment.
I want to believe the girl I loved …show more content…
I knock on her door gingerly, and she smiles as she sees me enter. She greets me with a kiss, a long one, having to perch herself on her toes as I lean down to return it. A couple months ago I would have been happy to see her; I would have kissed her longer or wrapped my arms around her neck. But now I feel only a numb sense of nothing as her lips embrace mine.
"Sit down. I have something to tell you," she squeaks excitedly, green eyes sparkling. I play the part of a captive audience and urge her to continue, smiling without conviction.
Words spill forth from her mouth, filling the room and resonating throughout the four walls, but none of it registers. I hear nothing but the scathing remarks and dramatic performances she's used in abundance these past few months. When she says "scholarship", I hear her telling me to be quiet. When she says "tuition fees", I picture her …show more content…
I promise I won't." She apologizes profusely as I exit, but her words find empty ears.
I make my way out of the front door, mind running wild with thoughts. Maybe she didn't mean it; she wouldn't go back to him. Would she? I pause in the driveway, trying to shuffle my feet forward but making no progress. I know that if I don't leave now there will be more: more torture, more insults, more of everything that I've hated about her since the first time she made me feel unloved. But as she's told me on several occasions, I cannot possibly do better. Does she know that I can't bring myself to leave? Does she know that all I want is for my love to come back? That I haven't been able to give up on her yet?
My heart pounds as my feet turn back towards the house with a mind of their own. She's standing in the doorway, sobbing as though I'm the one in the wrong.
My legs move forward robotically: left, right, left, right. I don't want to return, I don't want to have to comfort her or love her or pretend anymore. I don't want to feel so alone in her company; I don't want her to call me stupid or useless or tell me to shut up.
And yet, I