Spaceman Craig Monologue

I tear open my skin with my nails, searching for promised galaxies and maybe a new universe to disappear in completely. I know this is desperate and the old me would never approve but he withered the old me away into nothing more than a pile of dust.

I didn’t know he was watching but I don’t look up at him, expecting his little whine to come out but instead its a sob and for a second, I think he actually might care. He doesn’t though, I know that, he’s just worried because that’s who he is and even if it were the one who wouldn’t bother to sweep the ashes of myself up, he’d still worry. He tells me to stop and I say I can’t, because I want to be a spaceman. He’s confused and I hesitate to roll my eyes.

I’m playing spaceman, of course, I say and he still shivers with fear. That doesn’t make sense he argues, reaching for me and I pull away, shaking my head. Yes it does, you just don’t get it. He doesn’t get it, nobody does.I thought he might understand though. …show more content…
I’m looking for him. He goes on about questioning if there’s a small me in my blood and that’s ridiculous, I say, and he agrees but I hear him mumbling to himself about it anyways. Spaceman Craig is in my bones, I know that. He’s still not getting it and I’m fed up because he’s my best friend, why doesn’t he understand? My emotions are the asteroids, of course, and my blood is every nebula, crashing together and forming beautiful red skies. That makes no sense, spaceman Craig would never explore blood and I snap and yell about how he knows nothing about spaceman Craig. Spaceman Craig would love to explore this because he wants to get lost in it and drown in the galaxies that are hidden. Blood is there, yes he knows that, but if you dig deep, of course, it’s nothing but space and