Social Penetration Theory Of Relationships

A relationship is described as, “the way in which two or more people or things are connected”. (Merriam-Webster) This means in order to have a successful relationship there needs to be a strong connection between the two parties. This can refer to various types for example friendships, family, and/or romantic relationships. The romantic relationship is one of the more intimate of the versions of relationships. That is also specifically one relationship that I have experienced and still am experiencing, with my boyfriend, Daniel. I have learned that there are three major concepts that are needed in order to have a successful intimate romantic relationship with your significant other. One is following the social penetration theory, this is basically, …show more content…
Beginning with the breadth of a relationship, it is the range around the onion, or the range in which your conversation subject matte goes. As for Daniel and I, we have a very wide range of topics we will talk about. We will share what is embarrassing to each of us, as well as what is important or what is sensitive with each other. We have this wide range of things to talk about because we have been together for a while now and have built up trust with one another to know that neither one of us will tell other people or betray our trust when it comes to serious topics. On the depth side of things, it is the switch from impersonal to personal topics. And depth can be split up into two general sections, or “layers” of the onion, one’s public self and one’s private self. It starts on the outside of an onion with the public self, which is what is exposed or “peeled off” first. This is generally the image that is seen by others and these layers are usually peeled off easily for the most part. (Alder) The private self is similar to the inner portion of the onion. It is a bit harder to expose and takes a bit longer than the outside. (Alder) This layer represents who we really are on the inside. As for my relationship, we both have moved past the outside public self layer and are venturing into the inside private self layer. There are always new things to learn about one another, but we …show more content…
This means to have a relationship that, “involves a promise — sometimes implied or explicit — to remain in a relationship and to make that relationship successful”. (Alder) To me I think this is a very important part to the relationship, to have the trust in the other person that they will be loyal to you. There is a strong connection between relational commitment and relational maintenance as well. They both work together in order for a relationship to grow strong. This involves trusting the other person and to know they will not give up on you or the relationship. When you are this invested in a relationship, it makes you want to grow and thrive for that relationship so that it can be the best that it can be. This has also played a big part in Daniel and I’s relationship. We have explicitly said to one another that we are not going anywhere, meaning we both plan to be in this relationship for the long haul. For example, for most couples it can sometimes be awkward to bring up marriage and future plans, but for us it is not awkward, nor has it ever been awkward. We can freely talk about our future because we know and have faith in each other that neither one of us is going, or planning on going, anywhere. This gives both of us the reassurance we need if we ever feel any kind of