165). The fundamental elements of SET rely on a balance of rewards and costs. Costs are defined as the components of a relationship that have a negative value on an individual. Rewards, on the other hand, are the positive elements of a relationship. The theory purposes that the connections we choose to create and sustain are the ones that maximize our rewards and minimize our costs. Costs and rewards can each mean different things to different people. Examples of rewards include the love, encouragement, and and companionship a friend might offer. An example of a cost centers around the concept of contributing time into developing and keeping a relationship. In order to determine an outcome of a relationship you must first define its’ worth. Distinguishing a relationship’s worth can be done by subtracting costs from rewards. If the reward outweighs the cost, then the relationship is considered positive and will most likely endure. However, if the calculations yield a negative number, it is probable that the relationship will cease. Sounds a little too simple, …show more content…
I wasn’t allowed to date in high school so I loved the newfound feeling of attention from the opposite sex. In the beginning my boyfriend, Neil, and I had a great relationship. This was during the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship where we were just beginning to know one another. We were each on our best behavior and the reward was through the roof. Unfortunately, a year later, I couldn’t say the same. The amount of fights we had in a week actually outweighed the number of good days we experienced. All of my friends constantly asked why I kept putting up with him and each time I had to make an excuse. Looking back now, I realize, I was consistent with Thibaut and Kelley’s 2nd type of comparison the level for alternatives. I absolutely adored the idea of having a boyfriend. One who would accompany me to social events and serve as a prop for my online “perfect profile”. He even fit the category of the type of man my parents would want me to marry. We shared the same religion and he was even in medical school. Everything seemed perfect, that is, if you could get past the constant fighting. At the time I let my fear of being alone outweigh the toxic relationship. It wasn’t until much later I developed the confidence needed to end the relationship. I would be lying if I said after the breakup everything was perfectly fine. However, years later, specifically after researching the dynamics of the Social