“Free Personality Testing – Come This Way!” implores the sign outside Scientology’s Castlereagh Street headquarters in Sydney.
The interior is what you’d get by blending a holistic healing centre with the control-deck of the Starship Enterprise. Images of erupting volcanoes, light-pierced landscapes, and Egyptian-looking Scientology symbols evoke a peculiar science-fiction-meets-self-help vibe.
Zipping towards me, a uniformed female attendant offers help, and soon I’m looking down at Scientology’s Oxford Capacity Analysis personality test. A battery of 200 often strangely worded questions, ask how I “feel RIGHT NOW” about a disparate range of issues.
"Does an unexpected action cause your muscles to twitch? "
"Do some noises ‘set your …show more content…
Pondering whether I “enjoy telling people the latest scandal about my associates”, I’m distracted by the roped-off office of church founder, the late L. Ron Hubbard. How charmingly odd. Does the great man beam in from out-of-galaxy from time to time?
After finishing my test, I’m whizzed over to a Star-Trek-style video pod. Rather than taking off, I’m shown a short film outlining the dangers of the ‘Reactive Mind’. Unbeknownst to me, I’m plagued by harmful subliminal thoughts which I can eliminate using Scientology.
And then, a friendly young man beckons. “Hi, I'm Scott*, come and let’s check out your results," he says.
“This graph indicates what you have told us about yourself”, he says, reciting the standard preamble. “These results are not my opinion, but a factual, scientific analysis of your answers.”
Pinpointing scores on a scale from -100 to +100 for ten personality traits, including items like ‘Stable’, ‘Happy’, and ‘Composed’, the graph divides them into regions for ‘Normal’, ‘Desirable State’ or ‘Unacceptable State’.
My result was distressing to say the least: a sorry personality iceberg with only the tip rising above …show more content…
Spurning psychiatric drugs in favour of vitamin supplements, Scientology offers an alternative to the field of psychiatry, which it describes as “an industry of death”.
The ramping up of advertising for free personality tests coincides with the recent opening of a $57 million ‘Scientific Wonderland’ in Chatswood, NSW, where Scientology will treat people with mental issues caused by depression, substance abuse and trauma.
Looking at these smiling young faces, I want to yell “Run! Go! Get out of the Starship, RIGHT NOW.”
And, although I managed to laugh off the crushing assessment of my character, I have to admit, it took some effort. And that’s despite being well versed in Scientology’s zany beliefs and controversies, and also, a weathered veteran of numerous personality tests over the course of my career.
But there’s nothing particularly funny about pronouncing fake problems and then selling fake remedies. Despite diagnosing and treating mental illness, Scientology escapes the regulation of health authorities because it offers its services under the guise of religion. That’s the unfunny irony of how it’s “factual, scientific” analyses continue to evade proper
The interior is what you’d get by blending a holistic healing centre with the control-deck of the Starship Enterprise. Images of erupting volcanoes, light-pierced landscapes, and Egyptian-looking Scientology symbols evoke a peculiar science-fiction-meets-self-help vibe.
Zipping towards me, a uniformed female attendant offers help, and soon I’m looking down at Scientology’s Oxford Capacity Analysis personality test. A battery of 200 often strangely worded questions, ask how I “feel RIGHT NOW” about a disparate range of issues.
"Does an unexpected action cause your muscles to twitch? "
"Do some noises ‘set your …show more content…
Pondering whether I “enjoy telling people the latest scandal about my associates”, I’m distracted by the roped-off office of church founder, the late L. Ron Hubbard. How charmingly odd. Does the great man beam in from out-of-galaxy from time to time?
After finishing my test, I’m whizzed over to a Star-Trek-style video pod. Rather than taking off, I’m shown a short film outlining the dangers of the ‘Reactive Mind’. Unbeknownst to me, I’m plagued by harmful subliminal thoughts which I can eliminate using Scientology.
And then, a friendly young man beckons. “Hi, I'm Scott*, come and let’s check out your results," he says.
“This graph indicates what you have told us about yourself”, he says, reciting the standard preamble. “These results are not my opinion, but a factual, scientific analysis of your answers.”
Pinpointing scores on a scale from -100 to +100 for ten personality traits, including items like ‘Stable’, ‘Happy’, and ‘Composed’, the graph divides them into regions for ‘Normal’, ‘Desirable State’ or ‘Unacceptable State’.
My result was distressing to say the least: a sorry personality iceberg with only the tip rising above …show more content…
Spurning psychiatric drugs in favour of vitamin supplements, Scientology offers an alternative to the field of psychiatry, which it describes as “an industry of death”.
The ramping up of advertising for free personality tests coincides with the recent opening of a $57 million ‘Scientific Wonderland’ in Chatswood, NSW, where Scientology will treat people with mental issues caused by depression, substance abuse and trauma.
Looking at these smiling young faces, I want to yell “Run! Go! Get out of the Starship, RIGHT NOW.”
And, although I managed to laugh off the crushing assessment of my character, I have to admit, it took some effort. And that’s despite being well versed in Scientology’s zany beliefs and controversies, and also, a weathered veteran of numerous personality tests over the course of my career.
But there’s nothing particularly funny about pronouncing fake problems and then selling fake remedies. Despite diagnosing and treating mental illness, Scientology escapes the regulation of health authorities because it offers its services under the guise of religion. That’s the unfunny irony of how it’s “factual, scientific” analyses continue to evade proper