Satire About Smoking

I flick the butt of my half used cigarette to the pavement exhaling its toxic smog. My mother always told me smoking was a filthy habit that I should never have gotten into. She also told me that if I continued to smoke, all of my teeth would drop out and I’d die alone. Bitch. I find it quite amusing that she’d ever think I’d end up with anyone after my track record of one night stands with half the cheerleading squad during my senior year of high school. I know deep down that she always knew I’d end up alone. I don’t really give a shit either way, it’s not like I care. I prefer living alone, always have, and always will. I stare at the glowing embers that I left on the concrete as I debate whether or not to go back inside the pub. After a solid minute of thinking if a couple more shots is worth getting hit on by some creepy old man that hadn’t looked up from my chest all night. I decided that my alcohol at home was better. Besides, the pub smelt of mushy peas and I was beginning to get nauseous.

I was on my twenty seventh street lamp out of the forty six it takes to reach my flat. I hadn’t really looked up from the ground since I left that poor excuse for a pub. Americans really don’t know anything about any country besides their own. I reach lamp post thirty eight when hear a yelp two lamp posts down on the …show more content…
I helped her off of the floor but she still refused to make eye contact. I told her to sit on the toilet seat while I went to go get the medical stuff I had grabbed earlier and went to swipe it off of the counter. Hagrid followed me in when I went back into the bathroom and he hopped up onto the counter and sat in the sink. He likes to do that. The girl placed her arm out for me to clean. I held her arm up slightly and began dabbing it with the alcohol. She hissed as it made contact with the