Dear Avery Paige Leavitt, a.k.a. Sketchers,
First and foremost, congratulations on making it to the age of 15. In the ancient days of low mortality rates, this would’ve been seen as a major accomplishment for someone to make it to your age. So let us celebrate your being alive today. Naturally, with celebrations such as these there must be gifts. Now I know you have a natural aversion to gifts and presents, so you’ll have to bear with me here. If you wish, you can refer to these “gifts” by the same name I referred to them when I was your age. That name, of course, was homework.
Now, now, slow your heartbeat. No need to panic, as you will see if you continue to read this letter. This “homework” is not mandatory, though I do highly recommend
First and foremost, congratulations on making it to the age of 15. In the ancient days of low mortality rates, this would’ve been seen as a major accomplishment for someone to make it to your age. So let us celebrate your being alive today. Naturally, with celebrations such as these there must be gifts. Now I know you have a natural aversion to gifts and presents, so you’ll have to bear with me here. If you wish, you can refer to these “gifts” by the same name I referred to them when I was your age. That name, of course, was homework.
Now, now, slow your heartbeat. No need to panic, as you will see if you continue to read this letter. This “homework” is not mandatory, though I do highly recommend