My Exploratory Essay

One example of my collaboration work was on my Exploratory Essay. My partner Malika and I discussed different ways to help strengthen my thesis. She helped me grammatically and helped me specify the idea I was in fact, trying to portray through my thesis and body paragraphs. She stated possibilite confusion in one of my paragraphs that lacked proper connection back to the thesis and topic sentence. In my outline, I was able identify who were created The Primer, why they created The Primer and explain what was the purpose of writing The Primer. I was able to rewrite my paragraph to better connect it to the thesis and also better connect with the critic 's opinion. I was able to revise my essay not only grammar wise, but also, I was able to reduce …show more content…
In the first essay, the literary narrative, I wrote, “Sharkboy and lava girls, although they are completely opposite of each other help me develop my character. Sharkboy is literally like his name said a boy shark while lava girl is a girl made of lava.” Before i would be repetitive. I would write without putting extra input or any insightful comment. I was just straight forward. This lead for my readers to zone out because lack of creative. In my reflection of the literary essay I stated, how as future middle school students, one tends to be either excited to move up grades and "graduating" or tired of school. In addition, student at this time, usually are ungrateful and in a way spoiled since they are given everything and they please in elementary. My purpose was directed to students who are transitioning from elementary to middle school. I wrote this essay to help those kids who are shy and keep to themselves like I was, encourage them open up with my prior experience. Also, I wrote the essay to motivate and help capture the efforts of teacher for student. In my essay I related the idea of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 's loyalty and companionship helped me appreciate all gestures done by others and guided me to become more sociable as a kid. When I first watched The Adventure of Sharkboy and Lavagirl as a child, I thought it was unusual since the normal Disney movie were either princess or Mickey Mouse. This movie taught many lessons. The …show more content…
I wrote, “Parents demand obedience through the enforcement of fear of God. “ Now while drafting I try to put more insightful, in other words, I try to look at the bigger picture and not only looking at book but on religion in general but in characters’ mindset. I wrote about the how early children’s literature uses fear as a tool for teaching children. The Puritans use the “New England Primer” to manipulate a child’s belief by exposing them to a wicked alphabet rhyme which explains punishments for disobedience to their religion. I chose to talk about more specifically the Primer’s alphabet rhythm because that rhythm was taught to kids to memorize the alphabet, Also, the message of each letter was used to create fear and manipulate the mindset of child’s because it exposed them to the harsh reality of life for example that everyone was bound to die and it could occur any time no matter the age. Although the Primer was used to expose children to the Puritan religion, it was also used by parents to control their children. Because of the pattern of manipulation and also the critics’ argument, it helped me adapt a serious and opposing attitude. My tone conveyed this stance was because I was arguing that the use of children’s fear to ease the trouble on behalf of parents of raising them, my stance automatically gave a serious and revealing tone. My tone could also be described as