Writer, domestic violence survivor, and victim’s rights advocate Beverly Gooden spoke Thursday night about her past undergoing domestic violence abuse and the viral social media movement she created, titled #WhyIStayed.
Gooden started her speech by telling the audience that every minute, 24 people are domestically abused in the United States. “And I was one of them.”
Gooden met her ex-husband at a church during college. After 10 months of dating they were engaged, but she said that by then the abuse had already started.
“I didn’t think to run, because that action was so out of the realm of his character,” she said. “When he did that, I thought it must be me. I thought, what did I do to make you act that way. So I stayed.”
Gooden eventually …show more content…
TMZ released a video of him punching his wife, Janay Palmer, in an elevator and dragging her unconscious body out.
During the news outbreak, Gooden began seeing various tweets questioning the wife’s actions and why she stayed instead of questioning why Rice would hit her.
“I felt the need to defend her. I knew what it was like to be a survivor of domestic violence who stayed,” she said. “I knew what it was like to not be able to leave, because she couldn’t. I knew what that was. And I felt in that moment that I needed to say something.”
This led her to begin tweeting a series of messages with the hashtag WhyIStayed. Tweets included messages such as “I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me. He slept in front of the door that entire …show more content…
“So it’s happening. It’s happening here, it’s happening everywhere,” Gooden said. About her ex husband, who she met her husband, she said she couldn't see the signs abuse at the time. “In retrospect now, I see the manipulation, the isolation, but back then I couldn’t have told you what it looked like at all.”
Some warning signs in an abusive relationship Gooden said to watch out for are the victim withdrawing from friends and family and the abuser being controlling or manipulative, jealous, possessive, or threatening.
Gooden said that a major problem the world has to day in relation to domestic abuse is victim blaming. “I’m beginning to think that victim blaming has gotten to the point where it almost is our initial and natural reaction to violence,” she said.
She pointed out the just-world theory, which states that the world is just and that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to good people, as one of the beliefs that lead to victim blaming. “I think that we firmly believe this because it’s easier to view the victim as blameworthy than to accept the fact or acknowledge the fact even that anything can happen to us,” she
Gooden started her speech by telling the audience that every minute, 24 people are domestically abused in the United States. “And I was one of them.”
Gooden met her ex-husband at a church during college. After 10 months of dating they were engaged, but she said that by then the abuse had already started.
“I didn’t think to run, because that action was so out of the realm of his character,” she said. “When he did that, I thought it must be me. I thought, what did I do to make you act that way. So I stayed.”
Gooden eventually …show more content…
TMZ released a video of him punching his wife, Janay Palmer, in an elevator and dragging her unconscious body out.
During the news outbreak, Gooden began seeing various tweets questioning the wife’s actions and why she stayed instead of questioning why Rice would hit her.
“I felt the need to defend her. I knew what it was like to be a survivor of domestic violence who stayed,” she said. “I knew what it was like to not be able to leave, because she couldn’t. I knew what that was. And I felt in that moment that I needed to say something.”
This led her to begin tweeting a series of messages with the hashtag WhyIStayed. Tweets included messages such as “I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me. He slept in front of the door that entire …show more content…
“So it’s happening. It’s happening here, it’s happening everywhere,” Gooden said. About her ex husband, who she met her husband, she said she couldn't see the signs abuse at the time. “In retrospect now, I see the manipulation, the isolation, but back then I couldn’t have told you what it looked like at all.”
Some warning signs in an abusive relationship Gooden said to watch out for are the victim withdrawing from friends and family and the abuser being controlling or manipulative, jealous, possessive, or threatening.
Gooden said that a major problem the world has to day in relation to domestic abuse is victim blaming. “I’m beginning to think that victim blaming has gotten to the point where it almost is our initial and natural reaction to violence,” she said.
She pointed out the just-world theory, which states that the world is just and that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to good people, as one of the beliefs that lead to victim blaming. “I think that we firmly believe this because it’s easier to view the victim as blameworthy than to accept the fact or acknowledge the fact even that anything can happen to us,” she