Now that I had a clear head I could think about this. I wasn't ignoring Ashton because he's quite clearly gay but I was ignoring him because he'd hidden this for years when I broke down to him about my sexuality. I felt lied to and...betrayed? I trusted Ashton with everything and there wasn't a single thing I didn't tell him, he was my go to person and I, for as long as I can remember, thought that I was that to him; apparently not.
But maybe that means that I should talk to him? He had a reason to hide this from me and if he remembers and he's trying to talk to me then he must have every intention of explaining to me. I know I have every right to be mad at him but ignoring him isn't the right way to deal with this situation and I know it, …show more content…
I had to put aside how I felt right now, otherwise everything would become biased. I had to look at this as clearly as I possibly could.
"I can't tell you why I didn't tell you Luke..." he sounded so disappointed in himself; I was having a really hard time wrapping my head around this because me and Ashton were meant to be best friends. I told him everything, I told him the things that I didn't tell anybody else - even Calum and Michael, and I thought that our friendship put him in a position where he felt the same but I was apparently and unfortunately wrong about that.
"I'm so sorry," I knew he meant it but it's not like it changed anything. I felt so many different things: confusion, anger, hurt, let down, disappointment, the list could go on.
"I tell you everything, Ash! Why did I have to find this out because I caught you in the act?" my voice rose and I knew that I was getting noticeably angry and it had to stop. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut; this wasn't fair to him, "how long have you
But maybe that means that I should talk to him? He had a reason to hide this from me and if he remembers and he's trying to talk to me then he must have every intention of explaining to me. I know I have every right to be mad at him but ignoring him isn't the right way to deal with this situation and I know it, …show more content…
I had to put aside how I felt right now, otherwise everything would become biased. I had to look at this as clearly as I possibly could.
"I can't tell you why I didn't tell you Luke..." he sounded so disappointed in himself; I was having a really hard time wrapping my head around this because me and Ashton were meant to be best friends. I told him everything, I told him the things that I didn't tell anybody else - even Calum and Michael, and I thought that our friendship put him in a position where he felt the same but I was apparently and unfortunately wrong about that.
"I'm so sorry," I knew he meant it but it's not like it changed anything. I felt so many different things: confusion, anger, hurt, let down, disappointment, the list could go on.
"I tell you everything, Ash! Why did I have to find this out because I caught you in the act?" my voice rose and I knew that I was getting noticeably angry and it had to stop. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut; this wasn't fair to him, "how long have you