Retirement Satire

Improved Essays
The spectre of an aging population haunts the land. There are now as many people in Canada over 65 as there are under 15. We all know what lies ahead. The pensions and medical bills of the boomers will overwhelm our ability to pay, and younger generations will be taxed to the max. People who forgot to save (and those who couldn’t) will spend their golden years eking out a miserable existence. Innovation and productivity will suffer as society becomes sclerotic. Our schools will be retrofitted as nursing homes for the dazed and the demented. The bike lanes of our great cities will be clogged with geezers on scooters, motoring to the Early Bird specials at Swiss Chalet.

‘I don’t believe in retirement’: Five boomers on why they’re not ready to quit (The Globe and Mail)
Or maybe not.

A scientific survey of my immediate friends shows that none of them are planning to retire any time soon. They are designers, lawyers, doctors, marketers, entrepreneurs, artists,
…show more content…
He has since recanted. People are wired to live useful and productive lives until they run out of gas. That’s what gives life meaning. The notion of “retirement” is an entirely post-Second-World-War phenomenon, the product of rapidly increasing lifespans and the creation of the welfare state. It should be abolished.

This doesn’t mean we’re interested in 60-hour workweeks and performance reviews from people 20 years our junior. Hell, no. We need flexibility, autonomy, and plenty of time to [insert passions here]. Fortunately, as the working-age population shrinks, the world is going to need us. Bye-bye, severance packages. Hello, retention bonuses.

Lots of people aren’t as lucky as we are, of course. Some keep working because they have to. Some can’t work, and eventually most of us really will get too old. But a world in which more people keep working part-time to the age of 70 or so would be both wealthier and more

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