If you were to walk up to any woman today on the street and ask her what she thought about the widely known trilogy, Fifty Shades of Grey, you will come across one of two answers. One could be a women gushing about the romance, and how hot Christian Grey, a main character, is and how they cannot wait for the upcoming movie. The second, about how the series simply gives the OK for abusive relationships, sexual assault, and that it degrades women and the sexual experience as a whole. If you ask the same question to any man on the street, the most common answer will be that it’s nothing more than a porno for women or they will have no idea what you are talking about. The answers for the same questions regarding a BDSM relationship would probably
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The relationship between Christian Grey, a BDSM Dom, and Anastasia Steele, a vanilla, gives readers a peek into the lifestyle of BDSM. After this series became popular, and the announcement of the upcoming movie, the Christian himself came under attack. Many people started claiming that he was abusive, and one person even commented on a review of the movie trailer on YouTube that Christian Grey was a rapist, because he did not stop when Ana reached her limit. Upon going back to the YouTube video the comment had been made on, the original poster has deleted the comment after many people jumped to correct him. However, upon reviewing the book, and the passage in question, Christian did stop when Ana used the safe word, and even berated and loathed himself afterwards, worried about Ana and if he had caused any harm to her. These accusations against fictional characters such as this is the reason why many involved in BDSM, Dom or sub, choose to keep that aspect of their lives a secret, even to their family and closest …show more content…
There are times where a scene can be dangerous to the sub, or different types of bondage, such as suspension, collaring, edge play, fire play etc. These can be dangerous in a physical way, yes, but what about the emotional and mental side? How to the many subs deal with all different kinds of Doms, and the problems they may have? Michelle Fegatofi, a sub herself, released a book titled BDSM Basics for Submissives: Dealing with the Mental and Emotional side of Submission. In this, she gives subs advice on how to deal with different situations from a sub standpoint, and even gives advice to Doms! In one chapter of this book, she addresses the issue of abuse. Just like in any relationship, platonic, vanilla or BDSM, emotional and mental abuse can happen. She addresses the signs that could point to an abusive Dom. Many of these signs such as silence, manipulative behavior, using fear against you, etc., are common in not just BDSM relationships (6 Fegatofi). The only difference is the way it is acted out. Just as in any vanilla relationship, the sub has every right to leave if he/she feels they are being abused by their Dom. Fegatofi goes on to explain how to help recover from a situation like this. Being a fellow sub, she knows that there are times when being a sub takes a toll not only on your physical health, but also emotional and
The relationship between Christian Grey, a BDSM Dom, and Anastasia Steele, a vanilla, gives readers a peek into the lifestyle of BDSM. After this series became popular, and the announcement of the upcoming movie, the Christian himself came under attack. Many people started claiming that he was abusive, and one person even commented on a review of the movie trailer on YouTube that Christian Grey was a rapist, because he did not stop when Ana reached her limit. Upon going back to the YouTube video the comment had been made on, the original poster has deleted the comment after many people jumped to correct him. However, upon reviewing the book, and the passage in question, Christian did stop when Ana used the safe word, and even berated and loathed himself afterwards, worried about Ana and if he had caused any harm to her. These accusations against fictional characters such as this is the reason why many involved in BDSM, Dom or sub, choose to keep that aspect of their lives a secret, even to their family and closest …show more content…
There are times where a scene can be dangerous to the sub, or different types of bondage, such as suspension, collaring, edge play, fire play etc. These can be dangerous in a physical way, yes, but what about the emotional and mental side? How to the many subs deal with all different kinds of Doms, and the problems they may have? Michelle Fegatofi, a sub herself, released a book titled BDSM Basics for Submissives: Dealing with the Mental and Emotional side of Submission. In this, she gives subs advice on how to deal with different situations from a sub standpoint, and even gives advice to Doms! In one chapter of this book, she addresses the issue of abuse. Just like in any relationship, platonic, vanilla or BDSM, emotional and mental abuse can happen. She addresses the signs that could point to an abusive Dom. Many of these signs such as silence, manipulative behavior, using fear against you, etc., are common in not just BDSM relationships (6 Fegatofi). The only difference is the way it is acted out. Just as in any vanilla relationship, the sub has every right to leave if he/she feels they are being abused by their Dom. Fegatofi goes on to explain how to help recover from a situation like this. Being a fellow sub, she knows that there are times when being a sub takes a toll not only on your physical health, but also emotional and